Phil Drebbles: People don't really want the truth, they just want good news.
Bright: We were like Mike and Scottie. Only shorter... and whiter.
Doctor Brown: Isn't he supposed to be dead?
Edna Harper: Yeah, I thought that was a little weird, too.
Amy: What exactly is going on between you and Collin? I mean, why are you being all buddy buddy with him?
Ephram: First of all, I'm not being all buddy buddy with anyone, all right? He approached me.
Amy: He did, why? I-I mean, why?
Ephram: I don't know, maybe he thinks I'm pretty.
Dr. Andrew Brown: The thing is, I promised Delia I wouldn't go out with her.
Edna: You also promised Delia a horse. I don't see Mr. Ed galloping around here.
Madison: Was that an apology?
Ephram: It was supposed to be.
Edna Harper: I did pick up a thing or two from my 'rumble in the jungle'. Maybe they'd apply.
Dr. Andrew Brown: As long as you don't ask the cast to make necklaces out of ears, then, yeah, go for it.
Ephram: I wish you had died instead of mom.
Andy: Well I wish I had, too, you little bastard.
Edna: You like Linda, she likes you, and you're both nincompoops who do nothing about it.
Doctor Brown: There's someone in my office.
Edna Harper: Gee, no wonder you brain surgeons make so much money.
Bright: Uh, Dad, depending on how many people are there today, do you think I could borrow that rifle to shoot myself?
Ephram: Do you have a boyfriend?
Amy: Yes. But I want you to meet him. If you do, you'll understand.
Ephram: That was right on my list of things to do today, right between picking up my dry cleaning and chopping off my hand.
Dr. Harold Abbott: My daughter is dating a paroled addict.
Dr. Andrew Brown: My 16 year-old son is dating his 20 year old baby sitter.
Dr. Harold Abbott: Barkeep, two more.
Dr. Linda Abbott: Mom, I'm not putting up my own roadblocks.
Edna Harper: Well you sure as hell aren't pulling any down.
Ephram: You gotta stop doing that.
Amy: What?
Ephram: Saying things that make me wanna kiss you.
Dr. Andrew Brown: You know, when your mother died, a thousand people said a thousand stupid things to me and I just wanted one of them to give me a reason not to die.
Laynie Hart: You looked so uncomfortable the other day. Like I embarrassed you or something.
Ephram: Look, I'm gonna mess up because that's just what I do. But at least give me a chance to mess up. I mean, I'm capable of such stupidity that you'd be wasting my talent by ending this now.
Amy: Smell. The cold smells like pine... or the pine smells like cold... something.
Dr. Andrew Brown: What is that out front?
Ephram: A doe... A deer... A female deer.
Dr. Linda Abbott: Every time I come here I feel like I've fallen down a rabbit whole into some other time and place.
Dr. Andrew Brown: I have similar thoughts every day.
