Adrian Monk: Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not.
Adrian Monk: I don't know how he did it. But he did it.
Adrian Monk: Here's what happened.
Dr. Shuler: You’re gonna feel normal for a while. And then there’s gonna be some vomiting, followed by death.
Monk: Vomiting?
Dr. Shuler: That’s right. Followed by death.
Monk: Vomiting.
Dr. Shuler: Yes. Followed by death.
Monk: Vomiting!
Dr. Shuler: Adrian, I really need you to focus on the last part of that sentence. There’s gonna be some vomiting... and then death.
Monk: Is there any chance death could come before the vomiting?
Monk: It's a gift...and a curse.
Mr. Monk and the Candidate (1) - S1-E1
Sharona: You're going straight to hell.
Adrian Monk: I am in hell.
Mr. Monk Meets the Playboy - S2-E8
Dexter Larson: I was the kind of guy that a woman like you never talked to.
Sharona Fleming: You still are.
Mr. Monk Meets the Playboy - S2-E8
Noelle Winters: Is your wife here?
Adrian Monk: I'm not married.
Noelle Winters: You're wearing a ring.
Adrian Monk: She passed away. I can't bring myself to take it off yet.
Noelle Winters: Oh, I'm sorry. When did she die?
Adrian Monk: Six years ago.
Mr. Monk and the Candidate (1) - S1-E1
Adrian Monk: Are you registered to vote?
Sharona Fleming: I never vote. It only encourages them.
Mr. Monk Makes A Friend - S5-E11
Monk: [On the phone with Hal] Oh that, that, that was just my assistant, Natalie. Uh? Ah, hold on, I'll see. [Speaking to Natalie] Are you hot?
Mr. Monk and the Candidate (1) - S1-E1
Miranda St. Clair: I'm told you're germophobic, afraid of the dark, heights, crowds and... Milk.
Sharona: We're working on the milk. He's making good progress on milk.
Mr. Monk and the Three Pies - S2-E11
Captain Stottlemeyer: Mr. Van Rankin, we'd like to search your pie.
Van Rankin: What?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Please don't make me say that again.
Adrian Monk: Here's what happened.
Mr. Monk and the Three Pies - S2-E11
Captain Stottlemeyer: I like to have more than 'lack of pie' when I go to a grand jury.
Mr. Monk is the Best Man - S8-E13
Randy Disher: I think somebody's trying to scare you.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, but why? I mean, it doesn't track. If the guy wants a piece of me, if he wants to hurt me, why doesn't he come at me? What's all this cat and mouse crap?
Disher: So who's on your short list?
Stottlemeyer: I've been at this all morning. Most of these guys are either in jail or dead.
Disher: Or both.
Stottlemeyer: No. Nobody is both.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Look at that. See that? That's a bullet. That's a bullet that got dug out of our very dear friend's leg tonight.
Randy Disher: That makes your cousin a former cop shooter.
Vince Kuramoto: A former what?
Randy: A former cop shooter.
Vince: You mean he use to shoot cops?
Randy: No he shot someone who use to be a cop.
Vince: Why didn't you say that?
Mr. Monk and the Three Julies - S6-E13
Dr. Kroger: So, uh, a glass eyeball, huh?
Monk: The mother died three months ago. The son never reported it.
Dr. Kroger: Wait, did the son kill the mother?
Monk: The doctors say no. It was a heart aneurysm. Her son, Matthew, is an amateur taxidermist. He stuffed her body. He carried her from room to room like nothing happened.
Dr. Kroger: Yeah, I've heard of cases like that. See, he couldn't function without her. They call it "radical cognitive bonding."
Monk: At least I never dug Trudy up and had her stuffed and mounted, right?
Dr. Kroger. Yes. And I've always been very proud of you for that.
Hal Tucker: Well, killing my girlfriend was the easy part. The hard part was pretending to be Monk's friend for a week.
Jimmy Belmont: You ever hear the man try to tell a joke?
Joey Krenshaw: It's like a verbal root canal.
Hal: Excruciating.
James Novak: How did you feel when he arrested you?
Hal: I actually...I was feeling sorry for him. I felt like he was the village idiot or something. It was humiliating.
Jimmy: Until that there summation thing.
Hal: Oh my god. The summation. I love when people tell me what I've already done.
Joey: Droned! Just, ugh, longest four minutes of my life.
Hal: I mean, I know what I did. I killed her. I didn't need him to tell me.
Answer: Stottlemeyer was already upset after the phone call. He was trying to get "Kevin" (who would have to be a judge, but no further character information is given) to issue a restraining order with no evidence of needing one, except that Adrian Monk said she needs one. Kevin said he would need to "sleep on it." So it's clear they've been trying to provide protection and unable to get the results they need, which seems to be based on no one trusting Monk the way Stottlemeyer does. He's just angry that they failed to protect Linda despite all their work. Although it does feel like a scene was cut, or altered, from the show that shows the futile attempts to protect Linda which built up to his outrage.
Bishop73