Monk (2002)

Adrian Monk: Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not.

Monk: It's a gift...and a curse.

Mr. Monk and the Candidate (1) - S1-E1

Sharona: You're going straight to hell.
Adrian Monk: I am in hell.

Adrian Monk: I don't know how he did it. But he did it.

Adrian Monk: Here's what happened.

Mr. Monk and the Red Herring - S3-E10

Nurse: You're looking for someone to start right away?
Monk: That's right.
Nurse: What would my hours be?
Monk: 9 a.m...
Nurse: Until?
Monk: Until one.
Nurse: 1 p.m.?
Monk: Until one of us dies.

Mr. Monk Meets the Playboy - S2-E8

Noelle Winters: Is your wife here?
Adrian Monk: I'm not married.
Noelle Winters: You're wearing a ring.
Adrian Monk: She passed away. I can't bring myself to take it off yet.
Noelle Winters: Oh, I'm sorry. When did she die?
Adrian Monk: Six years ago.

Dr. Shuler: You’re gonna feel normal for a while. And then there’s gonna be some vomiting, followed by death.
Monk: Vomiting?
Dr. Shuler: That’s right. Followed by death.
Monk: Vomiting.
Dr. Shuler: Yes. Followed by death.
Monk: Vomiting!
Dr. Shuler: Adrian, I really need you to focus on the last part of that sentence. There’s gonna be some vomiting... and then death.
Monk: Is there any chance death could come before the vomiting?

Mr. Monk Meets the Playboy - S2-E8

Dexter Larson: I was the kind of guy that a woman like you never talked to.
Sharona Fleming: You still are.

Mr. Monk and the Candidate (1) - S1-E1

Adrian Monk: Are you registered to vote?
Sharona Fleming: I never vote. It only encourages them.

Mr. Monk and the Candidate (1) - S1-E1

Miranda St. Clair: I'm told you're germophobic, afraid of the dark, heights, crowds and... Milk.
Sharona: We're working on the milk. He's making good progress on milk.

Adrian Monk: Here's what happened.

Mr. Monk Makes A Friend - S5-E11

Monk: [On the phone with Hal] Oh that, that, that was just my assistant, Natalie. Uh? Ah, hold on, I'll see. [Speaking to Natalie] Are you hot?