Monk (2002)

Mr. Monk and the Really, Really Dead Guy - S5-E15

Julie Teeger: There you go. You're online.
Monk: Oh... Oh... I'm on the web! The World Wide Web.
Julie Teeger: Welcome to 1998, Mr. Monk.

Bishop73

Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion - S5-E6

Randy Disher: Captain? I, uh, tracked down Kalimarakis. I don't think he's our guy. Number one, it turns out he was allowed to join the Olympic swim team as an alternate. He got a waiver.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So there's no motive.
Disher: Right. Number two, he's dead. He died in 1995. And number three, he moved to Europe in the late 80's. So there's no record of him ever returning.
Stottlemeyer: Randy. Randy. Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt you, but could you read number two again?
Disher: Okeedoke. He's dead.
Stottlemeyer: Right. See, I probably would have stopped reading after number two. In fact, I would have read number two first.
Disher: You would have switched them?
Stottlemeyer: Yeah. But that's just me. And probably every other adult on the planet Earth.

Bishop73

Mr. Monk Can't See a Thing - S5-E4

Randy Disher: Is that your Ferrari out there?
Peter Breen: That's one of them.
Randy: Do you like it? I was thinking of getting one myself. It's either between that or the Ford Festiva.

Bishop73

Mr. Monk and the Garbage Strike - S5-E2

Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, I have been burned twice this week already. Are you sure about this? I mean, are you absolutely sure? [Monk smiles] That's good enough for me.

Bishop73

Mr. Monk and the Actor - S5-E1

Dr. Kroger: And they cancelled the movie?
Monk: He said he wanted to play a character that wasn't so dark and depressing. He's in England, doing Hamlet.

Bishop73

Mr. Monk Takes Manhattan - S3-E1

Warrick Tennyson: You were the husband?
Adrian Monk: I am the husband.
Warrick Tennyson: Forgive me.
Adrian Monk: Forgive you? This is me...turning off your morphine. [Turns off morphine. Long pause. Monk covers his eyes and begins to cry.] And this is Trudy, the woman you killed...turning it back on. [Turns on morphine].

Bishop73

Mr. Monk Goes to the Office - S4-E4

Natalie: I use to work at a place like this. I lasted about two weeks. You do the same thing everyday.
Monk: The same thing.
Natalie: After a while, you get to feel like a number.
Monk: A number.
Natalie: You're just like everybody else.
Monk: Everybody else.
Natalie: You're basically a drone.
Monk: A drone.

Bishop73

Mr. Monk Takes Manhattan - S3-E1

Sharona: See? You did it. You rode the subway. I'm proud of you, you're becoming a real New Yorker.
Monk: I rode on the subway.
Homeless Man: Change?
Monk: Yes, I think I did.

Bishop73

Mr. Monk Gets Married - S2-E15

Sharona: What are you doing?
Monk: This shelf. I can't sleep with a crooked shelf in the room
Sharona: Well, when you turn off the light, you won't see it.
Monk: I wish you could hear yourself sometimes. You live in a dream world.

Bishop73

Mr. Monk Goes Back to School - S2-E1

Monk: Hold on. You'll thank me later.
Sharona: You always say that. Have I ever once thanked you later?
Monk: No.

Bishop73