Best TV quotes of all time

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Friday Night Dinner picture

The Sofa-Bed - S1-E1

Jackie: And Martin! How many times do I have to tell you? Stop eating out of the bin!
Johnny: Classic.
Adam: Classic.

Ssiscool

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Hercules: The Legendary Journeys picture

Hercules: What are you doing here?
Iolaus: What do you mean?
Hercules: Iolaus, you're dead.
Iolaus: Yeah, well, I was kinda hoping you wouldn't notice.

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The Addams Family picture

Wednesday: Dear Santa, we just wanted you to know that even though Mr. Thompson says that there was no such thing as Santa Claus, we didn't believe him. So please come or else it will make us look like dummies. Signed Wednesday and Pugsley Addams.

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Last Man Standing picture

Pilot - S1-E1

Mandy: Will you go pick up Travis, please?
Mike: You can pick him up.
Mandy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, if you can just figure out how to change a tire.
[Mandy starts to leave.]
Mike: So sad.
Mandy: I'm living with Lord Voldemort!
Mike: I don't know who that is, but he sounds like a very caring father.

Bowling255

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MacGyver picture

Friends - S2-E20

MacGyver: For the past seven years I have done nothing but travel around the world getting shot up, locked up, blown up...and all I have to show for it are a couple of empty rolls of duct tape.

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The Good Place picture

Michael: You humans take something wonderful and ruin it just a little bit so you can have more.

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Eureka picture

Nathan Stark: Good job, Carter... Wow, that didn't even leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Marshall Jack Carter: Wait for it.
Nathan Stark: ...Oh, there it is.

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Foyle's War picture

DCS Christopher Foyle: The uniform suits you.
Andrew Foyle: Thanks. I wish I could say the same about your dressing gown.

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The Vicar of Dibley picture

Alice: I'm all ears. Well I'm not all ears... I'm face and tummy and legs and lots of other bits, including some rather private bits I only let a doctor see. Only he wasn't a doctor, and he got arrested soon after.

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Fuller House picture

Kimmy Gibbler: My moves are all that and a bag of chips, so talk to the hand loser! Oh snap, you go girl! I think I just did.

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Desperate Housewives picture

Silly People - S2-E14

Carlos: You know who you are, Gaby? You're the kind of person who would have turned away Mary and Joseph from the inn.
Gabrielle: Well, they should have called ahead.

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24 (2001)

24 picture

Day 6: 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM - S6-E1

Jack Bauer: Do you understand the difference between dying for something and dying for nothing? The only reason I fought so hard to stay alive in China was because I didn't want to die for nothing. Today, I can die for something.

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