Best TV quotes of all time

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In the Heat of the Night picture

J.J. Jeffson: Well, you know what the Lord says: "Go forth and multiply, and fill the earth."
Bill Gillespie: But I don't think he meant for you to do that by yourself.

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Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends picture

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Mac's in trouble! Mac's in trouble! You are in trouble.
Mac: You know, you're in trouble, too.
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: I'm always in trouble.

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The Originals picture

Klaus Mikaelson: You rant and rave about the monster I have become, but you, mother, you are the author of everything I am.

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Death in Paradise picture

Episode #3.2 - S3-E2

DS Camille Bordey: If you want to talk some more, you know, about your wife.
DI Humphrey Goodman: I'm fine, Camille. I'm British. I'm going for the "bottle it all up and turn it into a bitter little ball" approach.
DS Camille Bordey: But you look sad.
DI Humphrey Goodman: I'm not sad. I'm squinting. My squinty face is uncannily similar to my sad face.
(00:50:40)

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Star Trek: Picard picture

Maps and Legends - S1-E2

Jean-Luc Picard: The Federation does not get to decide if a species lives or dies!
Admiral Kirsten Clancy: Yes we do. We absolutely do.
(00:23:35)

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Beast Wars: Transformers picture

Cheetor: We've got to stop them before they reach the base.
Ratrap: That's your department, Sky Cat. Fire up. We'll be right behind you.
Dinobot: My weapon is depleted.
Cheetor: I need a running start.
Ratrap: Criminy, the pair of ya! I've gotta DO everything?

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The Wonder Years picture

Wayne Arnold: Butthead.

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Future Man picture

Haven Is for Real - S3-E5

[Watching a dreadful performance by James Dean.]
Josh: I gotta get some air.
Abraham Lincoln: I don't blame you. This is the worst theater experience I've ever had.

Jon Sandys Premium member
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Psych picture

Shawn Spencer: Good morning detectives, collecting money for the Policeman's ball?
Carlton Lassiter: We don't have balls.
Shawn Spencer: I honestly have no response to that.

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The Jetsons picture

George Jetson: Jane. Stop this crazy thing.

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24 (2001)

24 picture

[Jack and Tony are talking over a cellphone. Jack is trying to convince Tony not to kill Christopher Henderson.]
Jack: Tony! This won't bring back Michelle.
Tony: I know, but it will make me feel better.
Jack: Trust me, you won't.
Tony: Yeah, I probably won't. I'll let you know.

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Quantum Leap picture

Sam: Leaping about in time, I've found that there are some things in life that I can't change, and there are some things that I can. To save a life, to change a heart, to make the right choice. I guess that's what life's about, making the right choice at the right time.

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Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip picture

Matt Albie: Look, I hate Los Angeles just like everybody else, but I have to work here because in any other part of the country I'm unemployable.

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Millennium picture

Agent Devlin: Everybody's got a theory on the increasing violence in our society.
Agent Emmerich: My wife thinks it's the artificial hormones in beef.
Agent Devlin: What's your take?
Frank Black: I don't think it's the beef.

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Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! picture

Never Ape and Ape Man - S1-E7

Daphne: That puts the stairs back. But I wonder what the other switches do?
Velma: Well, with your luck, Daph, the next button you push will bring the roof down. But, go ahead.

Quantom X Premium member
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The Flintstones picture

Fred Flintstone: Where's your get up and go?
Barney Rubble: It just got up and went.

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Wings picture

Joe: If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a wonderful Christmas.

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Beauty & the Beast picture

Mouse: Okay good! Okay fine.

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The Andromeda Strain picture

Dr. Jeremy Stone: So, you're saying they survived Andromeda because they had the same level of stomach acid? That's brilliant.

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30 Rock picture

Jack: We are lovers.
Liz Lemon: That word bums me out unless it's between the words "meat" and "pizza."

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