Best TV quotes of all time

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Smallville picture

Shimmer - S1-E10

Lana Lang: That's the thing about Clark Kent. He's not always there when you want him... But he's always there when you need him.

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Two and a Half Men picture

I Can't Afford Hyenas - S1-E14

Charlie: Your dad owns a bank?
Rose: Well no. Me, my brother and sister own 49%.
Charlie: Really.
Charlie: What about your mum?
Rose: Oh she doesn't have a bank.
Charlie: Oh.
Rose: She's in oil.

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The Suite Life of Zack and Cody picture

Day Care - S2-E3

Zack: [Watching Cody calming a baby.] Wow, how'd you figure out that rock and bounce technique?
Cody: It's not a technique. I just really have to go to the bathroom!

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Becker picture

Linda: Where have you two been? You know I should never be left in charge.

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Community picture

Comparative Religion - S1-E12

Jeff Winger: To me, religion is like Paul Rudd. I see the appeal, and I would never take it away from anyone. But I would also never stand in line for it.

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Wrecked picture

Karen: Do you know what this means? We're in the kill zone of a black caiman.
Florence: A black gay man?
Karen: Do you, do you really think that's what I just said?
Florence: I don't know. It sounded like you said...
Karen: You think this is a kill zone of a black gay man?
Florence: Well, anything sounds stupid when you say it like that.

Bishop73

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Mad About You picture

Paul: Just like that: bing, bang, boom?
Jamie: At this point, I'd settle for the boom.
Paul: You don't want the bing and the bang?
Jamie: I did when we started.
Paul: And now?
Jamie: I'm over it.
Paul: You're a very complex woman.
Jamie: You don't want the boom?
Paul: 'Course I want the boom. Guys always want the boom. We only made up the whole bing and the bang just to get to boom.

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Power Rangers Samurai picture

Narrator: Centuries ago in Japan, Nighlok monsters invaded our world, but samurai warriors defeated them with power symbols, passed down from parent to child. Today the evil Nighlok have risen once again and plan to flood the earth. Luckily, a new generation of heroes stand in their way. They are the Power Rangers Samurai.

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G.I. Joe picture

Destro: Premature panic is the sign of an immature mind.

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Law & Order picture

Det. Lennie Briscoe: I'm trying to decide what to arrest you for - obstruction of justice, harboring a fugitive or just being a general pain in the ass.

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The Andromeda Strain picture

Dr. Jeremy Stone: So, you're saying they survived Andromeda because they had the same level of stomach acid? That's brilliant.

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The Young Ones picture

Summer Holiday - S2-E6

Mike: Where's Vyvyan?
Rik: Well, he said he was going inside to water his plant. Strange that such a ruthless and sadistic maniac as Vyvyan should care for a begonia. Must have had it two years now.
Mike: And it was dead when he got it.
Rik: Yes... Still, give him his credit - he's watered it every day!
Mike: Only because he can't be bothered to go upstairs to the lavatory.

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