Best TV quotes of all time

Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.

Movie Quote Quiz
House of Cards picture

Chapter 46 - S4-E7

Frank Underwood: [Stands between the portraits of Kennedy and Reagan.] All three of us took bullets. [Nods to Reagan's.] Well, I know why we're smiling, we survived.

Friso94

More House of Cards quotes
The Royle Family picture

Mary Carroll: Look at Anthony's hair. He looks like a little choir boy.
Jim Royle: He looks like a little gay boy.

More The Royle Family quotes
Iron Man: Armored Adventures picture

Iron Forged in Fire: Part One - S1-E1

Math Professor: What you’re looking at here is widely thought to be the hardest math equation in the world, and has yet to be solved. What we are doing today is far less difficult, and...
Tony Stark: Sir? 42.

Quantom X Premium member

More Iron Man: Armored Adventures quotes
More X-Men quotes
The Legend of Korra picture

Night of a Thousand Stars - S2-E11

Korra: You have a battleship?
Varrick: Of course I do! I bought the first one they made! Named her the Zhu Li.
Bolin: You named your battleship after your assistant?
Varrick: Yep! They're both cold, heartless war machines.

More The Legend of Korra quotes
Last Man Standing picture

Pilot - S1-E1

Mandy: Will you go pick up Travis, please?
Mike: You can pick him up.
Mandy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, if you can just figure out how to change a tire.
[Mandy starts to leave.]
Mike: So sad.
Mandy: I'm living with Lord Voldemort!
Mike: I don't know who that is, but he sounds like a very caring father.

Bowling255 Premium member

More Last Man Standing quotes
Kirby: Right Back at Ya! picture

Meta Knight: Your spirit is willing but your pink flesh is weak.

More Kirby: Right Back at Ya! quotes
The Addams Family picture

Wednesday: Dear Santa, we just wanted you to know that even though Mr. Thompson says that there was no such thing as Santa Claus, we didn't believe him. So please come or else it will make us look like dummies. Signed Wednesday and Pugsley Addams.

More The Addams Family quotes
Perry Mason picture

Hamilton Burger: Incompetent, irrelevant, and immaterial.

More Perry Mason quotes
Future Man picture

Haven Is for Real - S3-E5

[Watching a dreadful performance by James Dean.]
Josh: I gotta get some air.
Abraham Lincoln: I don't blame you. This is the worst theater experience I've ever had.

Jon Sandys Premium member

More Future Man quotes
Reno 911! picture

Deputy Travis Junior: Getting two tickets to an execution is like getting two tickets to NASCAR, except you know Jeff Gordon's gonna die.

More Reno 911! quotes
Boston Legal picture

Denny Crane: Now, Alan, if all else fails and you think you've lost... pretend you've won! Works for our president.

More Boston Legal quotes
The A-Team picture

Murdock: I wish I could just jump in the water and live like a fish.
B.A. Baracus: Shut up fool, you ain't no fish.

More The A-Team quotes
F Troop picture

Chief Wild Eagle: It is balloon.

More F Troop quotes
The Tick picture

Interviewer: Well, can you... destroy the Earth?
Tick: Egad. I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff.

More The Tick quotes
A Bit of Fry and Laurie picture

Stephen Fry: When I was seventeen I had already tried fourteen different jobs, married twice, fathered many many many many children, eaten a perfectly enormous quantity of food over a long time period, been weaned off six types of class A dangerous drug, given up smoking, taken it up again, given it up again, taken it up again, given taking it up and taken giving it up again and again and again and again. By the time I was twenty, alcohol had never passed my lips, yet I was a reckless and predatory alcoholic: my life was in pieces, my marriages were shattered, my children lay in ruins, I was paying alimony along the sinuses, behind the dark interior passages of the skull and through the nose. But at thirty, at thirty came the chance to redeem a bin-liner of broken promises. If I didn't take that chance what would I be? What would I become? Just another friendless acid spot on the back buttock of a weeping society. So I took it, took the chance, picked up the ball and ran, went for it, threw caution to the teeth of the gale, never looked back, just keep running, I did it. Forget the past, there's nothing there, not even memories, just a road you never travelled unwinding backwards to a place you never came from, where fruit grows on trees you never climbed, in an orchard where you lost your virginity to a boy called Timothy who died of Horlicks poisoning before you were born. No answers there...
Hugh Laurie: tephen, Stephen, Stephen, Stephen.
Stephen Fry: Yes?
Hugh Laurie: Go and have a lie down.
Stephen Fry: OK. [walks off.].

More A Bit of Fry and Laurie quotes
Foyle's War picture

DCS Christopher Foyle: The uniform suits you.
Andrew Foyle: Thanks. I wish I could say the same about your dressing gown.

More Foyle's War quotes
In the Heat of the Night picture

J.J. Jeffson: Well, you know what the Lord says: "Go forth and multiply, and fill the earth."
Bill Gillespie: But I don't think he meant for you to do that by yourself.

More In the Heat of the Night quotes
The Vampire Diaries picture

Damon Salvatore: I DO believe in killing the messenger. Why? Because it sends a message.

More The Vampire Diaries quotes
Everybody Hates Chris picture

Rochelle Rock: I'm gonna slap the black off you.

More Everybody Hates Chris quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.