Best TV quotes of all time

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Movie Quote Quiz
Green Acres picture

Lisa Douglas: Could you keep it a secret from my husband? You see, I want to surprise him.
Ralph Monroe: My lips are sealed.
Hank Kimball: Now if we could only keep them that way.
Ralph Monroe: If you weren't so sexy, I'd beat your brains out.

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Prisoner: Cell Block H picture

Bea Smith: I'm going Freak-hunting.

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NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service picture

Yankee White - S1-E1

Gibbs: I heard you quit, Agent Todd.
Kate Todd: Happy news travels fast. Yes, I resigned. It was the right thing to do.
Gibbs: Yep. Pull that crap at NCIS, I won't give you a chance to resign.
Kate Todd: Is that a job offer?

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Gunsmoke picture

Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I'll tell you why the Hagens live so long.
Festus Haggen: Why?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: 'Cause they're too dumb to know they're dead.

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House of Cards picture

Chapter 24 - S2-E11

Frank Underwood: From the lion's den to a pack of wolves. When you're fresh meat: kill, and throw them something fresher.

Friso94
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Bewitched picture

Darrin Stephens: Sam, don't expect your mother to be gracious. She doesn't do imitations.

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Gilligan's Island picture

Skipper Jonas Grumby: Ginger, I've got a problem... I've got a real problem... Now you're a girl, right?
Ginger Grant: Well, if you're not sure about that, you have got a problem.

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Everybody Hates Chris picture

Rochelle Rock: I'm gonna slap the black off you.

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Dark Shadows picture

Angelique: Let me give you one word of advice, Dr. Hoffman. The pursuit of Barnabas Collins can lead to nothing but misery. He is a cold, harsh, unresponsive man."
Dr. Julia Hoffman: Who made him that way?

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The Legend of Korra picture

Night of a Thousand Stars - S2-E11

Korra: You have a battleship?
Varrick: Of course I do! I bought the first one they made! Named her the Zhu Li.
Bolin: You named your battleship after your assistant?
Varrick: Yep! They're both cold, heartless war machines.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles picture

The Mutation Situation - S2-E1

Donatello: It has butt cannons? IT HAS BUTT CANNONS?!

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X-Men picture

Night of the Sentinels: Part 1 - S1-E1

Morph: [imitating Senator Kelly] My fellow Americans, I am an idiot.

Phaneron Premium member
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The Addams Family picture

Wednesday: Dear Santa, we just wanted you to know that even though Mr. Thompson says that there was no such thing as Santa Claus, we didn't believe him. So please come or else it will make us look like dummies. Signed Wednesday and Pugsley Addams.

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Once Upon a Time picture

The Evil Queen - S2-E20

Cora: Love is weakness. It feels real now, at the start it always does, but it's an illusion. It fades and then you're left with nothing!

Francisco Guerra
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Sanford and Son picture

Aunt Esther: Watch it, sucka.

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Legends of Tomorrow picture

Leonard Snart: This isn't my first prison break.

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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit picture

Born Psychopath - S14-E19

Dr. Huang: I'm conflicted about labeling a ten year old a psychopath. But...
Don Cragen: "But"?
Dr. Huang: I've had a chill like that two times in my life. With death row serial killers.

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McLeod's Daughters picture

Tess Silverman McLeod: You are a petty, greedy, money hungry... cattle barron.
Nick Ryan: Well then try this, we're over.
Tess Silverman McLeod: We never began.
Nick Ryan: Well fantastic, we agree.
Tess Silverman McLeod: Yeah you bet we do.

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The Sopranos picture

Tony Soprano: Oh, poor baby. What do you want, a Whitman's Sampler?

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The Thin Blue Line picture

Season 1 generally

Inspector Grim: It's my arse on the line and I don't want a cock-up!

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