When You Wish Upon a Weinstein - S3-E22
Peter Griffin: You better watch who you're calling a child Lois. Because if I'm a child then you know what that makes you? A paedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert.
Dying For Pie / Imitation Krabs - S2-E6
Mr. Krabs: What's the most important rule here?
Spongebob: No free napkins?
Mr. Krabs: No, the other most important rule!
Spongebob: Only discuss the secret formula with Mr Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: As long as you do that, the formula is safe.
Squidward: I thought the most important rule was why do today what you can put off for tomorrow?
Mr. Krabs: But what's today, but yesterday's tomorrow?
Squidward: What?
President Josiah Bartlet: What's next?
My Problem With Popplers (a.k.a. The Problem With Popplers) - S2-E18
Fry/Bender: Pop a Poppler in your mouth, When you come to Fishy Joe's, What they're made of is a mystery, Where they come from, no one knows. You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em, You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em, And if you promise not to sue us, You can shove one up your nose.
Dr. Huang: I'm conflicted about labeling a ten year old a psychopath. But...
Don Cragen: "But"?
Dr. Huang: I've had a chill like that two times in my life. With death row serial killers.
Cordelia: You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?
Angel: Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.
Cordelia: What did you just call me?
Angel: I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
Cordelia: No, after that.
Yokas: Forgot how many personal things I tell you. Guess I forgot how much I talk to you. You know? Because you weren't there for me to talk to. I miss you, Bosco.
Courage: There's something fishy goin' on here, or my name is Stinky Looloo, and thank goodness it's not.
Tony Soprano: Oh, poor baby. What do you want, a Whitman's Sampler?
Linda La Hughes: No, Tom! Don't go near the windows! Don't go near the windows.
Tom: Why?
Linda La Hughes: Umm... Because Tom, Did you know that 175% of all drive-by shootings happen near French Windows?
Tom: Twiggy preserve us. One is no longer safe in one's own home... It's like that really scary movie, that really violent one. Damn, what's it called? Chocolate Orange.
Denny Blood: Oi, posh bitch. Is "arseholes" all one word?
Monica Lindsey: No, it's hyphenated. As in "arse-licker"
Sydney Fox: I'm talking about something much more serious than a curse! I'm talking about a crazy woman in a bustier.
Roger Smith: You have to use your pent-up energy to fight through the harshness of reality.
R. Dorothy Wayneright: Pardon?
Roger Smith: That's Roger Smith's Rule Number Two.
Helen: He's going to the center of the Earth. You get dizzy on the botton rung of a ladder.
Jonas Lytton: Not the bottom rung.
Emmy: Definitely.
Jessica Bennett: You can't give up on Charity, Miguel. Would Leonardo give up on Kate? Would Ross give up on Rachel? Would Bo give up on Hope?
Edd: Ed no! You're too young to drive.
Terry McGinnis: Look, if you had any proof they were going to do something, it would be different. But I'm not going to change my plans because of a hunch.
Bruce Wayne: Batman would.
Terry McGinnis: Hey, I put my life on the line all the time. One night isn't going to make any difference.
Bruce Wayne: One night always makes the difference.