Best TV quotes of 1999

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Family Guy picture

When You Wish Upon a Weinstein - S3-E22

Peter Griffin: You better watch who you're calling a child Lois. Because if I'm a child then you know what that makes you? A paedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert.

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SpongeBob SquarePants picture

Dying For Pie / Imitation Krabs - S2-E6

Mr. Krabs: What's the most important rule here?
Spongebob: No free napkins?
Mr. Krabs: No, the other most important rule!
Spongebob: Only discuss the secret formula with Mr Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: As long as you do that, the formula is safe.
Squidward: I thought the most important rule was why do today what you can put off for tomorrow?
Mr. Krabs: But what's today, but yesterday's tomorrow?
Squidward: What?

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Futurama picture

My Problem With Popplers (a.k.a. The Problem With Popplers) - S2-E18

Fry/Bender: Pop a Poppler in your mouth, When you come to Fishy Joe's, What they're made of is a mystery, Where they come from, no one knows. You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em, You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em, And if you promise not to sue us, You can shove one up your nose.

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Angel picture

Waiting In The Wings - S3-E13

Cordelia: You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?
Angel: Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.
Cordelia: What did you just call me?
Angel: I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
Cordelia: No, after that.

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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit picture

Born Psychopath - S14-E19

Dr. Huang: I'm conflicted about labeling a ten year old a psychopath. But...
Don Cragen: "But"?
Dr. Huang: I've had a chill like that two times in my life. With death row serial killers.

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The Sopranos picture

Tony Soprano: Oh, poor baby. What do you want, a Whitman's Sampler?

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Farscape picture

I, E.T. - S1-E7

John: It's kinda like Louisiana. Or Dagobah. Dagobah...where Yoda lives.
Aeryn: Who's Yoda?
John: Just a little green guy...trains warriors.

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Gimme, Gimme, Gimme picture

Zippy: Are you pleased to see me?
Linda: Of course I'm pleased to see you Zippy. It's just a shock, I haven't been this shocked since well I gave birth to you. I thought you were wind, I very nearly called you Fart.

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Courage the Cowardly Dog picture

Talking Fish: There's no such thing as perfect, you're beautiful as you are, Courage. With all of your imperfections, you can do anything you want to do.

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Bad Girls picture

Shell Dockley: You wanna be scared of me, Atkins?
Yvonne Atkins: I don't do scared.

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Roswell picture

Michael: Whoever sent us down here was smart, you know? Because they sent us together, and as long as we stick together, we're gonna make it.

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Judging Amy picture

Interior Decorator: Usually I'm so perceptive of people. Come on... what's changed?
Maxine: Two weeks ago my fiancée died of a heart attack 48 hours before we were to be wed. Also, I've cut my hair.

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Big Wolf on Campus picture

Merton: From an old legend, and the third season of Buffy.

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Journey to the Center of the Earth picture

Helen: He's going to the center of the Earth. You get dizzy on the botton rung of a ladder.
Jonas Lytton: Not the bottom rung.

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Passions picture

Jessica Bennett: You can't give up on Charity, Miguel. Would Leonardo give up on Kate? Would Ross give up on Rachel? Would Bo give up on Hope?

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The League of Gentlemen picture

Edward: How much to leave the shop and never come back? Seventy? Eighty? All right a pound.

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Digimon picture

Sora: Now that you boys have holes in your heads, maybe your brains will get more oxygen.

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The Big O picture

Beck Gold: Worried about your robot lover?
Roger Smith: Don't be ridiculous, Beck, that's physically impossible.
R. Dorothy Wayneright: What do you mean "impossible"? You're so cruel, Roger Smith, you're so cruel.

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Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy picture

Edd: Ed no! You're too young to drive.

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