Chocolate With Nuts / Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy V - S3-E11
Spongebob: Quick, Patrick. If you could have anything right now, what would it be?
Patrick: Um...more time for thinking?
Dying For Pie / Imitation Krabs - S2-E6
Mr. Krabs: What's the most important rule here?
Spongebob: No free napkins?
Mr. Krabs: No, the other most important rule!
Spongebob: Only discuss the secret formula with Mr Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: As long as you do that, the formula is safe.
Squidward: I thought the most important rule was why do today what you can put off for tomorrow?
Mr. Krabs: But what's today, but yesterday's tomorrow?
Squidward: What?
Spongebob's Last Stand - S7-E22
Mr. Krabs: Alright, Plankton! It's Eugene Krabs, here, with, What's-His-Name! Now come on out!
Plankton: I can't.
Mr. Krabs: Come on outside, and take what's coming to you!
Plankton: I really can't come outside!
SpongeBob: Why not?
Plankton: Because I'm already out here, you bumbling bottom feeders! Open your eyes for crying out loud!
MuscleBob BuffPants / Squidward, the Unfriendly Ghost - S1-E11
Squidward: Spongebob, are you trying to drive me to the nut house?
Spongebob: No. Just into this hole.
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy / Pickles - S1-E6
SpongeBob: Wow, Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.
Patrick: It's too bad they're old.
SpongeBob: What do you mean, Patrick? Old people are the greatest. They're full of wisdom and experience.
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy / Pickles - S1-E6
Mermaidman: To the meatloaf! To the broccoli! Make sure you give extra broccoli to my young ward. The boy needs his vitamins.
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm every bit as good as Larry, and if I'm not, then may I be struck by...
[Rumble of thunder.]
SpongeBob SquarePants: ... A flying ice cream truck.
[A shadow forms over SpongeBob.]
SpongeBob SquarePants: And live!
The Graveyard Shift / Krusty Love - S3-E13
Squidward: Years ago, at this very restaurant, the hatch-slinging slasher used to be a frycook, just like you. Only clumsier! And then, one night, when he was cutting the patties, it happened...
SpongeBob: He forgot the secret sauce?
Squidward: No.
SpongeBob: He didn't wash his hands?
Squidward: No!
SpongeBob: Irregular portions?
Squidward: NO! He cut off his own hand! By mistake!
SpongeBob: You mean like this?
[At every 'this', SpongeBob removes his arm and a new one grows back.]
SpongeBob: Or like this? Or this? Or this? But what about this? Or this? Or this? Or this?
Squidward: Except he wasn't a sponge!
SpongeBob: So?
Squidward: So it didn't grow back!
Help Wanted / Reef Blowers / Tea at the Treedome - S1-E2
Mr Krabs: Do you smell it? That smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells...smelly.
Valentine's Day / The Paper - S1-E16
Patrick Star: You broke my heart! Now I'm gonna break something of yours!
Mr. Krabs: The health inspector is here! If he finds one health violation, he'll shut us down for good! We've got to do everything in our power to make sure he passes the Krusty Krab!
Spongebob Squarepants: But, Mr. Krabs, there's nothing to worry about. The Krusty Krab is the most perfect place in the universe.
Mr. Krabs: You really haven't got any brains at all, have you, son?
[Spongebob and Patrick have just been fried by Man-Ray.]
Patrick Star: What's that smell?
Spongebob Squarepants: That, Patrick, is the smell of defeat.
Patrick Star: Oh, good. I thought it was my skin.
Spongebob Squarepants: Oh, Gary! Why didn't you tell me I was pushing you too hard?
Gary: Meow!
Spongebob Squarepants: You did? Oh, Gary! Why didn't you tell me I wasn't listening?
Gary: Meow!
Spongebob Squarepants: You did?
Spongebob Squarepants: We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new tactic.
Patrick Star: I got it! Let's get naked!
Spongebob Squarepants: No, lets save that for when we're selling real estate.
Pre-Hibernation Week / Life of Crime - S2-E13
SpongeBob: We'll spend the rest of our lives running. Running. But at least it's warm around the fire.
Patrick: Hey, if we're underwater, how can there be a...
[Fire goes out].
Spongebob's Last Stand - S7-E22
Mr. Krabs: Come on, lad. Let's go give that Plankton a piece of our minds.
[SpongeBob literally rips out a piece of his head.]
SpongeBob: Think this piece should do the trick.
Pizza Delivery / Home Sweet Pineapple - S1-E5
Squidward: [Answers phone.] Hello?
SpongeBob: Squidward!
Squidward: Is it time already for you to ruin my day?
SpongeBob: Squidward! Help me! My house is shrinking and I woke up this morning and it was getting smaller...oh no!
Squidward: Yep, it is.
[Patrick comes out from his rock.]
Patrick: Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? [Falls off rock onto his furniture then jumps out with a tuxedo on.] Hey, SpongeBob, don't start without me!
Pizza Delivery / Home Sweet Pineapple - S1-E5
Squidward: Sponge, we gotta eat something.
Spongebob: I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat coral. No, maybe it wasn't coral. Maybe it was sand, no, mud.
Squidward: Give me the pizza!
Spongebob: Wait, I remember now. It was coral!
Squidward: Give it to me!
Answer: "The Secret Box", or maybe "Karate Choppers".
sadie
Yeah, definitely "Karate Choppers."