Best animated TV quotes of all time

Family Guy picture

Lois: Hello?
Peter: I can't take the trash out today, I'm working late at the office.
Lois: The caller ID says you're calling from the kitchen. In fact I can see you.
Peter: [Edging sideways.] OK, can you see me now?
Lois: No.
Peter: Now I am at the office.

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SpongeBob SquarePants picture

Dying For Pie / Imitation Krabs - S2-E6

Mr. Krabs: What's the most important rule here?
Spongebob: No free napkins?
Mr. Krabs: No, the other most important rule!
Spongebob: Only discuss the secret formula with Mr Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: As long as you do that, the formula is safe.
Squidward: I thought the most important rule was why do today what you can put off for tomorrow?
Mr. Krabs: But what's today, but yesterday's tomorrow?
Squidward: What?

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The Simpsons picture

Tree House of Horror X - S11-E4

[The Simpsons are driving down a road as fast as possible.]
Homer: Dear God, it's Homer. If you really love me you'll save my life now.
[The gas needle immediately drops to empty and the car stops.]
Homer: D'oh.

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Something Ricked This Way Comes - S1-E9

Rick: Cute, your sister's boss gave me a microscope that would have made me retarded.
Morty: Ooh. Oh, boy, Rick, I, I don't think you're allowed to say that word, you know.
Rick: Morty, I'm not disparaging the differently abled. I'm stating the fact if I had used this microscope, it would have made me mentally retarded.
Morty: Okay, yeah, but I don't think it's about logic, Rick. I, I think the word has just become a symbolic issue for powerful groups that feel like they're doing the right thing.
Rick: Well, that's retarded.

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Bishop73
Teen Titans picture

Cyborg the Barbarian - S4-E5

Raven: Evil beware. We have waffles.

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The Legend of Zelda picture

The Ringer - S1-E1

Link: That's my kinda girl! Completely crazy!

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The Legend of Korra picture

Night of a Thousand Stars - S2-E11

Korra: You have a battleship?
Varrick: Of course I do! I bought the first one they made! Named her the Zhu Li.
Bolin: You named your battleship after your assistant?
Varrick: Yep! They're both cold, heartless war machines.

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Iron Man: Armored Adventures picture

Iron Forged in Fire: Part One - S1-E1

Math Professor: What you’re looking at here is widely thought to be the hardest math equation in the world, and has yet to be solved. What we are doing today is far less difficult, and...
Tony Stark: Sir? 42.

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American Dad picture

Stannie Get Your Gun - S1-E15

[The Smiths have just heard a news report on TV about a crime on their street.]
Stan: Right in our own neighborhood. Well it's clear the time has come for me to show you where we hide our guns.
[Pulls a gun out from under the table.]
Stan: Glock. Seventeen shots. [Takes pen from a pen holder.] Pen gun. Mightier then the sword. [Pulls sword out of knife holder.] Sword gun. Mightier then the pen gun. [Opens pantry door.] AR-15. MK-5. Mack-10. Paprika.
Francine: That's weird. I use that pantry a lot.
Stan: And the paprika not enough.
Hayley: I can't believe this house is teeming with guns. Guns kill.
Stan: Oh. Guns kill. Is that right. [Takes gun out of jacket and puts it on the table.] Well, let's see about that. Okay, gun. Kill. Go ahead. Kill someone. Don't be shy. See. Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns defend people against people with smaller guns.
Hayley: You're such a fascist.
Stan: Peace pusher.
Hayley: Murderer.
Stan: Hermaphrodite.
Francine: Stan!
Stan: I'm swinging wild, Francine.

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What's New, Scooby-Doo? picture

Pompeii and Circumstance - S1-E12

Saladicus: Those who are about to fight, salute me. I am the Emperor Caesar Saladicus. Do you have any last requests?
Shaggy: Hold the anchovies.

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Batman: The Animated Series picture

Christmas With the Joker - S1-E38

Joker: Jingle bells, Batman smells. Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got awaaaaaaaaayyyyy.

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Charlie and Lola picture

The Most Wonderfullest Picnic in the Whole Wide World - S1-E12

Lola: Fun, fun, funny and sun, sun, sunny.
Lotta: Yum, yum, yummy in my tum, tum, tummy.

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heartis
Futurama picture

Spanish Fry - S5-E12

Lrr: Mmmm. This jerked chicken is good. I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked.
Bender: It's used to it. Woooooooo!

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My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic picture

Season 2 generally

Discord: 'What fun is there in making sense?"

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X-Men (1992)

X-Men picture

Night of the Sentinels: Part 1 - S1-E1

Morph: [imitating Senator Kelly] My fellow Americans, I am an idiot.

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Serious B

16

Archer (2009)

Archer picture

Mole Hunt - S1-E1

Krenshaw: Jesus, Archer.
Archer: What?
Krenshaw: You think this is a game?
Archer: No, I think Jenga's a game.
Krenshaw: What if I had been real KGB?
Archer: I'd assume you'd be trying to suck a promotion out of some Russian guy's cock.

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American Dragon: Jake Long picture

Jake's Mom: Your sister really looks up to you.
Jake Long: She's two feet tall! She looks up to everybody!

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South Park picture

Weight Gain 4000 - S1-E3

Kyle: Cartman, you have such a fat ass, that when you walk down the street people go, "God, dammit thats a big fat ass!'
Cartman: They do not!
Random guy: God Dammit, thats a big fat ass!

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Star Wars: Clone Wars picture

Chapter 12 - S2-E2

Oro Dassyne: I wonder how many they'll send. We've got so much firepower in here, these walls are ray-shielded. They can't take this fort. It'll probably be, uh, fifty Jedi. They'll need at least that many. Huh, maybe a hundred Jedi! They'll never take this base with less. Ha, they'll need an army of Jedi!
Battle Droid: I have a visual.
Oro Dassyne: Jedi?
Battle Droid: I think so.
Oro Dassyne: How many? A thousand?
Battle Droid: No.
Oro Dassyne: Eighty?
Battle Droid: No, sir.
Oro Dassyne: What? Fifty?
Battle Droid: Less.
Oro Dassyne: Forty? Come on, how many?
Battle Droid: Two.
Oro Dassyne: What?! Give me those!

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Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends picture

Sleeping Beauty - S4-E4

Duke: Excuse me. Are you a vandal? Driver told me vandals smash and break things.

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Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! picture

Never Ape and Ape Man - S1-E7

Daphne: That puts the stairs back. But I wonder what the other switches do?
Velma: Well, with your luck, Daph, the next button you push will bring the roof down. But, go ahead.

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Yu-Gi-Oh! GX picture

Tag Team Trial: Part 1 - S1-E10

Syrus Truesdale: First, I'm going to summon Gyroid in attack mode.
Para: You must be joking. I am surprised that thing even has an attack mode.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles picture

The Mutation Situation - S2-E1

Donatello: It has butt cannons? IT HAS BUTT CANNONS?!

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Avatar: The Last Airbender picture

The Drill - S2-E13

General Sung: Nevertherless, that is why the city is called Ba Sing Se: it's the Impenetrable City. They don't call it Na Sing Se! That means Penetrable City.

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Jonny Quest picture

The House of Seven Gargoyles - S1-E23

Jonny Quest: We have a proverb in my country, Hadji - seeing is believing.
Hadji: We have one in mine, too - I'm from Missouri.

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Scott215
The Amazing World of Gumball picture

The Man - S3-E24

[The kids are trying to get Granny Jojo out their bedroom window to have her reach the ground.]
Gumball: [grunting] How can someone so small be so heavy?
Granny Jojo: Well, I have two metal hips, one orthopedic shoe, six gold teeth, a plate in my head, and an industrial strength pacemaker. I got so much metal in me, I'm legally classified as a motor vehicle.

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bobthedancingdonut
The Adventures of Tintin picture

The Secret of the Unicorn: Part 1 - S1-E3

Tintin: He looks exactly like you.
Captain Haddock: Yes, he is good looking.

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Professor Q: Morning Vincent! Oh what's this? Ah, History Algebration homework! Excellent... The sum of 2 rational squares is equal to men's wear artichoke-friendly most sad sandwich jelly melons?!
Vinnie: Rocket!
Rocket: Hmm... Ha maybe I bounced up the wrong book
Professor Q: Vincent, your homework is 5 watts wrong and 50 gravitons incorrect!

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Kevin Bhasi
The Cleveland Show picture

Cleveland Live! - S2-E2

Tim the Bear: Arianna. Robert. I walked in on them. They were playing Hide The Salman Rushdie.

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Space Goofs picture

Candy: Lunch time already? It's been a good 45 seconds since you last ate. You must be weak from hunger.
Gorgious: Oh, hi, Candy. Hey, this chocolate Catsaban pickles cake you made is pretty good. Could use more sugar though. Hmmm, want some?
Candy: Eh, uh, no thanks. Gorgious, you should consider a more healthy diet. Your body is a temple, you know. You should eat light, drink lots of water and get plenty of exercise and most of all, remember, never, NEVER eat anything bigger than your head. I can see I'm wasting my breath, but mark my words, Gorgious. This sugar addiction of yours will be the death of you.

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