Best animated TV quotes of all time

Family Guy picture

Lois: Hello?
Peter: I can't take the trash out today, I'm working late at the office.
Lois: The caller ID says you're calling from the kitchen. In fact I can see you.
Peter: [Edging sideways.] OK, can you see me now?
Lois: No.
Peter: Now I am at the office.

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SpongeBob SquarePants picture

Dying For Pie / Imitation Krabs - S2-E6

Mr. Krabs: What's the most important rule here?
Spongebob: No free napkins?
Mr. Krabs: No, the other most important rule!
Spongebob: Only discuss the secret formula with Mr Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: As long as you do that, the formula is safe.
Squidward: I thought the most important rule was why do today what you can put off for tomorrow?
Mr. Krabs: But what's today, but yesterday's tomorrow?
Squidward: What?

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The Simpsons picture

Tree House of Horror X - S11-E4

[The Simpsons are driving down a road as fast as possible.]
Homer: Dear God, it's Homer. If you really love me you'll save my life now.
[The gas needle immediately drops to empty and the car stops.]
Homer: D'oh.

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Batman: The Animated Series picture

Christmas With the Joker - S1-E38

Joker: Jingle bells, Batman smells. Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got awaaaaaaaaayyyyy.

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What's New, Scooby-Doo? picture

Pompeii and Circumstance - S1-E12

Saladicus: Those who are about to fight, salute me. I am the Emperor Caesar Saladicus. Do you have any last requests?
Shaggy: Hold the anchovies.

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Quantom X

Something Ricked This Way Comes - S1-E9

Rick: Cute, your sister's boss gave me a microscope that would have made me retarded.
Morty: Ooh. Oh, boy, Rick, I, I don't think you're allowed to say that word, you know.
Rick: Morty, I'm not disparaging the differently abled. I'm stating the fact if I had used this microscope, it would have made me mentally retarded.
Morty: Okay, yeah, but I don't think it's about logic, Rick. I, I think the word has just become a symbolic issue for powerful groups that feel like they're doing the right thing.
Rick: Well, that's retarded.

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Teen Titans picture

Cyborg the Barbarian - S4-E5

Raven: Evil beware. We have waffles.

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The Legend of Zelda picture

The Ringer - S1-E1

Link: That's my kinda girl! Completely crazy!

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The Legend of Korra picture

Night of a Thousand Stars - S2-E11

Korra: You have a battleship?
Varrick: Of course I do! I bought the first one they made! Named her the Zhu Li.
Bolin: You named your battleship after your assistant?
Varrick: Yep! They're both cold, heartless war machines.

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Star Wars: Clone Wars picture

Chapter 12 - S2-E2

Oro Dassyne: I wonder how many they'll send. We've got so much firepower in here, these walls are ray-shielded. They can't take this fort. It'll probably be, uh, fifty Jedi. They'll need at least that many. Huh, maybe a hundred Jedi! They'll never take this base with less. Ha, they'll need an army of Jedi!
Battle Droid: I have a visual.
Oro Dassyne: Jedi?
Battle Droid: I think so.
Oro Dassyne: How many? A thousand?
Battle Droid: No.
Oro Dassyne: Eighty?
Battle Droid: No, sir.
Oro Dassyne: What? Fifty?
Battle Droid: Less.
Oro Dassyne: Forty? Come on, how many?
Battle Droid: Two.
Oro Dassyne: What?! Give me those!

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Iron Man: Armored Adventures picture

Iron Forged in Fire: Part One - S1-E1

Math Professor: What you’re looking at here is widely thought to be the hardest math equation in the world, and has yet to be solved. What we are doing today is far less difficult, and...
Tony Stark: Sir? 42.

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American Dad picture

Stannie Get Your Gun - S1-E15

[The Smiths have just heard a news report on TV about a crime on their street.]
Stan: Right in our own neighborhood. Well it's clear the time has come for me to show you where we hide our guns.
[Pulls a gun out from under the table.]
Stan: Glock. Seventeen shots. [Takes pen from a pen holder.] Pen gun. Mightier then the sword. [Pulls sword out of knife holder.] Sword gun. Mightier then the pen gun. [Opens pantry door.] AR-15. MK-5. Mack-10. Paprika.
Francine: That's weird. I use that pantry a lot.
Stan: And the paprika not enough.
Hayley: I can't believe this house is teeming with guns. Guns kill.
Stan: Oh. Guns kill. Is that right. [Takes gun out of jacket and puts it on the table.] Well, let's see about that. Okay, gun. Kill. Go ahead. Kill someone. Don't be shy. See. Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns defend people against people with smaller guns.
Hayley: You're such a fascist.
Stan: Peace pusher.
Hayley: Murderer.
Stan: Hermaphrodite.
Francine: Stan!
Stan: I'm swinging wild, Francine.

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Charlie and Lola picture

The Most Wonderfullest Picnic in the Whole Wide World - S1-E12

Lola: Fun, fun, funny and sun, sun, sunny.
Lotta: Yum, yum, yummy in my tum, tum, tummy.

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Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! picture

Never Ape and Ape Man - S1-E7

Daphne: That puts the stairs back. But I wonder what the other switches do?
Velma: Well, with your luck, Daph, the next button you push will bring the roof down. But, go ahead.

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South Park picture

Scott: All of these things link Terrance to the murder: hair fibers, blood samples, nail clippings, a piece of his shirt, a watch with his initials on it, a day planner with the murder scheduled, a haiku called "Time to Kill Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer": Dr. O'Dwyer, time to have your head smashed in with my new hammer. Terrance, you may be a famous surgeon, but you're not God. J'accuse Terrance.

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Futurama picture

Lrr: I am Lrr. Ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8.

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Yu-Gi-Oh! GX picture

Tag Team Trial: Part 1 - S1-E10

Syrus Truesdale: First, I'm going to summon Gyroid in attack mode.
Para: You must be joking. I am surprised that thing even has an attack mode.

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Archer (2009)

Archer picture

Lana: WHAT?!
Archer: Danger zone.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles picture

The Mutation Situation - S2-E1

Donatello: It has butt cannons? IT HAS BUTT CANNONS?!

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My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic picture

Season 2 generally

Discord: 'What fun is there in making sense?"

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X-Men (1992)

X-Men picture

Night of the Sentinels: Part 1 - S1-E1

Morph: [imitating Senator Kelly] My fellow Americans, I am an idiot.

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Serious B
American Dragon: Jake Long picture

Jake's Mom: Your sister really looks up to you.
Jake Long: She's two feet tall! She looks up to everybody!

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Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends picture

Sleeping Beauty - S4-E4

Duke: Excuse me. Are you a vandal? Driver told me vandals smash and break things.

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Drawn Together picture

Wooldoor Sockbat's Giggle-Wiggle Funny Tickle Non-Traditional Progressive Multicultural Roundtable! - S3-E2

Xander: Come on me if you want to live.
Wooldoor: I think you mean come with you.
Xander: Why? What did I say?

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Avatar: The Last Airbender picture

Bato of the Water Tribe - S1-E15

Zuko: Where's the Avatar?
Sokka: We split up. He's long gone.
Zuko: How stupid do you think I am?
Sokka: Pretty stupid.

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Star Wars: The Clone Wars picture

Mystery of a Thousand Moons - S1-E18

Obi-Wan: Very impressive. You just destroyed seventeen defenseless battle droids without suffering a scratch.
[Another battle droid falls apart.]
Anakin: Eighteen, actually.

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The Ricky Gervais Show picture

Space Monkey - S1-E1

Karl Pilkington: But my thing with iPods is... Now do we need 'em? Know what I mean? We're living in that era now where we have invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about.
Ricky Gervais: They said that in 1900. Someone actually said everything that's to be invented has already been invented, they said that in 1900 and how wrong were they?
Karl Pilkington: No but what came out, what was invented in that year where they went, "Right that's it now."
Ricky Gervais: The 20th century. Think what happened in the 20th century.
Karl Pilkington: Go on.
Ricky Gervais: Well, planes.
Karl Pilkington: Yeah, but is that a good thing, planes and that? Do you need a plane really? Wouldn't it have been better if we all stuck where we should be instead of travelling about?

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BoJack Horseman picture

BoJack Horseman: Shut up Todd.

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The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius picture

Cindy: Origami - the ancient art of Japanese paper folding. I will be making the most difficult of all origami sculptures - a snow monkey...
Jimmy: Actually, paper folding originated in China...
Cindy: ...riding a flying dragon...
Jimmy: the second century CE...
Cindy: ...while drinking tea...
Jimmy: ...and was brought to Japan...
Cindy: ...on a ladder...
Jimmy: the sixth century!
Cindy: December!
Miss Fowl: Cindy, I didn't know you and Jimmy were doing your report together!

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Chowder picture

Grubble Gum/The Cinnamini Monster - S1-E3

Mung: We need more spice!
Truffles: Well, I'm glad one of us finally acknowledged it.

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