South Park

South Park (1997)

11 quotes

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Scott: All of these things link Terrance to the murder: hair fibers, blood samples, nail clippings, a piece of his shirt, a watch with his initials on it, a day planner with the murder scheduled, a haiku called "Time to Kill Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer": Dr. O'Dwyer, time to have your head smashed in with my new hammer. Terrance, you may be a famous surgeon, but you're not God. J'accuse Terrance.

Cartman Gets an Anal Probe - S1-E1

Cartman: How come everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?

Terrance: Wow, Scott really hates us Phillip.
Phillip: Yes, perhaps he's homophobic.
Terrance: But we're not gay, Phillip.
Phillip: We're not?

Weight Gain 4000 - S1-E3

Kyle: Cartman, you have such a fat ass, that when you walk down the street people go, "God, dammit thats a big fat ass!'
Cartman: They do not!
Random guy: God Dammit, thats a big fat ass!

Pee - S13-E14

Water Tester: I tested the pH levels this morning.
Fire Marshal: And?
Water Tester: It was almost all p, no H.

Cartman: Why does Grandma have to live so far away? Why can't we just stick her in a nursing home nearby so I don't have to drive six hours to GET A GOD DAMN PRESENT?!

Phillip: Oh, hello Scott. No hard feelings, right old pal?
Scott: There are hard feelings, this isn't over. I'm going to see to it that you both pay for what you've done. And do you know why?
Phillip: 'Cause you're a dick?
Scott: No, because I hate you. You think farting is soo funny, well it isn't. Fart jokes are the lowest form of comedy, and if I...
[Terrance farts.].

Stan: Oh, my God! They killed Kenny.
Kyle: You bastards!

Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride - S1-E4

Football Commentator: Oh I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland,1938.

Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride - S1-E4

Football Commentator: Oh, I've haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant.

Trey Parker: You know, when Comedy Central asked us to do a Thanksgiving episode, the first thought that went through my mind was, "Boy, I'd like to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."

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