Best TV quotes of 1997

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Movie Quote Quiz
Buffy The Vampire Slayer picture

Touched - S7-E20

Spike: You listen to me. [Kneels in front of her.] I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of: you. [Buffy looks away; he reaches toward her face.] Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say, "I love you, " it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy.
Buffy: [Quietly.] I don't wanna be the one.

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Ally McBeal picture

Georgia Thomas: Well, by all means let's hear your opinion, Richard.
Richard Fish: Simple. Men and women. Friction.
Georgia Thomas: That's it? Friction?
Richard Fish: Friction, friction, friction, orgasm. Fishism.

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South Park picture

Weight Gain 4000 - S1-E3

Kyle: Cartman, you have such a fat ass, that when you walk down the street people go, "God, dammit thats a big fat ass!'
Cartman: They do not!
Random guy: God Dammit, thats a big fat ass!

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Recess picture

King Bob: So shall it be written, so shall it be done.

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Dharma & Greg picture

Greg: Justice Department.
Treasury Officer: Treasury Department.
Dharma: San Francisco Library.

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The New Batman Adventures picture

80's Batman: This isn't a mudhole. It's an operating table. And I'm the surgeon.

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Lexx picture

I Worship His Shadow - S1-E1

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Bug Bomb: Bug Bomb... lost head. (00:36:05)

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WWE Raw picture

Shawn Michaels: I'm the 'Showstoppa', the Main Event, the icon.

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Just Shoot Me! picture

Wally: Hello, and welcome to Wallyphone. If you are Maya Gallo and have an excuse for blowing me off, press one now.

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King of the Hill picture

Hank: Calm down, Boomhauer! I can't understand a word you're saying.

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Men in Black: The Series picture

K: Real good there Sparky.
J: Sparky? What happened to Slick?
K: You're going to have to work your way back up to Slick.

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The Practice picture

Bobby Donnell: It's better that ten guilty men go free, than one innocent man suffer.

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Space Goofs picture

Candy: Lunch time already? It's been a good 45 seconds since you last ate. You must be weak from hunger.
Gorgious: Oh, hi, Candy. Hey, this chocolate Catsaban pickles cake you made is pretty good. Could use more sugar though. Hmmm, want some?
Candy: Eh, uh, no thanks. Gorgious, you should consider a more healthy diet. Your body is a temple, you know. You should eat light, drink lots of water and get plenty of exercise and most of all, remember, never, NEVER eat anything bigger than your head. I can see I'm wasting my breath, but mark my words, Gorgious. This sugar addiction of yours will be the death of you.

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Smart Guy picture

Floyd: You can be the smartest man in the world - and for all I know, you are - but you will never understand women.

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Brass Eye picture

Christopher Morris: You're wrong, and you're a grotesquely ugly freak.

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Stargate SG-1 picture

The Other Guys - S6-E8

Coombs: I knew I should have updated my will before agreeing to off-world assignments.
Felger: You are not going to die, Coombs.
Coombs: Oh, come on, Felger. We might as well be wearing red shirts.
Felger: I don't get that.

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I'm Alan Partridge picture

Alan Partridge: You work in a petrol station Michael. It's not the Gulf War. Which ironically is like a large petrol station.

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The Weird Al Show picture

Martha Quinn: If someone asks you for directions, stop. Think about it for a moment, and if you don't know the best way for them to go, smile and tell them cheerfully that you can't help them and they should ask someone else. Giving someone directions that you're not sure about, even if you're just trying to help, is a bad idea. Don't be a hero. No directions are better than bad directions.

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The Angry Beavers picture

Daggett: Urethra! I found something.

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Jonathan Creek picture

Madeline Magellan: Enough with the pedanticism and let us eat.
Jonathan Creek: The word is pedantry.

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