New this month
[Mr. Burns is grocery shopping for the first time and sees Krusty getting a box of Krusty O's]
Mr. Burns: Could you tell me where I might find the Burns O's?
Krusty: Sorry Pops, they don't put nobodies on cereal boxes.
Mr. Burns: [Looking at a box of Count Chocula] Well, I suppose this one looks a bit like me.
New this month
[Bart is in class discreetly listening to an incarcerated Sideshow Bob on a talk radio show.]
Birch Barlow: I am going to make it my mission to see that our friend Bob is set free.
Ms. Krabappel: Well, despite Bart's objections, the people of South Africa can now vote in free democratic elections.
Nelson: Hey, look how much Skinner makes: $25,000 a year.
Bart: Let's see, he's 40 years old times 25 grand. Whoa, he's a millionaire.
Skinner: I wasn't a principal when I was one.
Nelson: Plus, in the summer, he paints houses.
Milhouse: He's a billionaire.
Skinner: If I were a billionaire, why would I be living with my mother? [All the kids laugh at him.] They're just not responding to logic anymore.
Homer: [buying a chewtoy for Maggie.] It says it's for dogs, but she can't read.
Carl: Hey, I heard we're going to Ape Island.
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Carl: Apes, but they're not so big.
TV Announcer: The Continental Soccer Association is coming to Springfield. It's all here: fast kicking, low scoring. And ties? You bet.
Bart: Hey Dad, how come you've never taken us to see a soccer game?
Homer: I don't know.
TV Announcer: You'll see all your favorite soccer stars. Like Arriaga, Arriaga II, Barriaga, Aruglia, and Pizzozza.
Homer: Oh, I've never heard of those people.
TV Announcer: And they'll all be signing autographs.
TV Announcer: This match will determine once and for all which nation is the greatest on Earth. Mexico or Portugal.