The Simpsons
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Grade School Confidential - S8-E19

New this month
Maude Flanders: Excuse me, Edna. I don't think we're talking about love here. We are talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!

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In Marge We Trust - S8-E22

New this month
Principal Skinner: Mother's gone too far. She's put a cardboard box over her half of the television. We rented "Man Without a Face." I didn't even know he had a problem.

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The Springfield Files - S8-E10

New this month
Kent Brockman: Tonight on eyewitness news: a man who's been in a coma for 23 years wakes up.
Coma patient: Do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show?
Kent Brockman: No, she won an Oscar and he's a congressman.
Coma patient: Good night! [Flatlines].

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The Old Man and the Lisa - S8-E21

[Mr. Burns is grocery shopping for the first time and sees Krusty getting a box of Krusty O's]
Mr. Burns: Could you tell me where I might find the Burns O's?
Krusty: Sorry Pops, they don't put nobodies on cereal boxes.
Mr. Burns: [Looking at a box of Count Chocula] Well, I suppose this one looks a bit like me.

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Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious - S8-E13

Young Rainier Wolfcastle: [singing a commercial jingle] Mein bratwurst has a first name. It's F-R-I-T-Z. Mein bratwurst has a second name. It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N.

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Hurricane Neddy - S8-E8

[A young Ned Flanders is tormenting other kids.]
Flanders: Wee, I'm Dick Tracy. Bam! Take that Pruneface. Now I'm Pruneface, take that Dick Tracy. Now I'm Prune Tracy, take that Dick Fa...
Dr. Foster: Ned, stop it at once.

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The Springfield Files - S8-E10

Marge: Have you been drinking?
Homer: No! Well, ten beers.

The Canine Mutiny - S8-E20

Groundskeeper Willie: Yeah, I bought your mutt, and I 'ate him. I 'ate his little face. I 'ate his guts. And I 'ate the way he's always barking, so I gave him to the church.
Bart: Oh, I see. You hate him, so you gave him to the church.
Groundskeeper Willie: Aye, I also 'ate the mess he left on me rug.

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Lisa's Date with Density - S8-E7

Mr. Largo: Miss Simpson, do you find something funny about the word "tromboner?"

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The Springfield Files - S8-E10

Leonard Nimoy: The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is no.

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Brother From Another Series - S8-E16

Sideshow Bob: You do know I had a...problem with trying to...kill people?
Cecil: [sarcastic] Goodness, I had no idea! For you see, I have been on Mars for the last decade, in a cave, with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears.
Sideshow Bob: Touché, Cecil.

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Homer vs. the 18th Amendment - S8-E18

Rex Banner: You're out there, Beer Baron, and I'll find you.
Homer Simpson: [faintly from the horizon.] No, you won't!
Rex Banner: Yes, I will.
Homer Simpson: Won't!

Cubs Fan Premium member

The Canine Mutiny - S8-E20

Comic Book Store Owner: Now make like my pants and split!

Brother From Another Series - S8-E16

Bart: Inside the body of every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy.
Lisa: And vice versa.

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