The Simpsons (1989)
14 quotes from season 5
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Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song - S5-E19
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Principal Skinner: I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done, and then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through? [The scene jumps forward in time.] It was on the best-seller list for 18 months. Every magazine cover had it... [The scene jumps forward in time again.]...one of the most popular movies of all time, sir. What were you thinking? I mean thank you, come again.
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: But Homer, twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for good and services.
Homer: Woo hoo!
Burns' Heir - S5-E18
Lionel Hutz: I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer.
PhaneronDean: Hello, that sounds like a pig fainting.
Troy McClure: Hi! I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such self-help videos as 'Smoke Yourself Thin' and 'Get Confident, Stupid!'.
Homer Simpson: Aw, dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
$pringfield (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) - S5-E10
Bum: Got any spare change, man?
Grampa: Yes! And you ain't gettin' it! Everybody wants something for nothing. [He walks into the Social Security Office.] I'm old! Gimme gimme gimme!
The Last Temptation of Homer - S5-E9
Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: Yeah?
Homer: See I got this friend named...Joey Jo-Jo...Junior...Shabadoo -
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
[A man in the bar starts crying and runs out.]
Barney: Hey! Joey Jo-Jo!
Tree House of Horror IV: The Simpson's Halloween Special IV - S5-E5
[Homer runs naked through the kitchen, where Patty and Selma are eating.]
Patty: [after seeing Homer.] There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality.
Homer: I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T.
Tree House of Horror IV: The Simpson's Halloween Special IV - S5-E5
Homer: Kill my boss?! Do I dare live out the American dream?
Bart Gets an Elephant - S5-E17
Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.
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