New this month
Homer: Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, could you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausage in that syrup Homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not talking to me, and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room!
Lisa: Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
Homer: I don't need any serving suggestions from you, you barbecue-wrecking know-nothing know-it-all.
Add timeSerious B
Ralph: Ms. Hoover, my worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have another one?
Ms. Hoover: No Ralph, there aren't any more. Just put your head down on your desk and sleep while the other children are learning.
Ralph: Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking.
Principal Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, I should be — Good lord, what is happening in there?
Principal Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Superintendent Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Principal Skinner: Yes.
Superintendent Chalmers: May I see it?
Principal Skinner: No.
Agnes Skinner: Seymour! The house is on fire!
Principal Skinner: No, Mother, it's just the Northern Lights.