Professor Frink: In episode BF12, you were battling barbarians while riding a winged Appaloosa. but in the very next scene, my dear, you're clearly atop a winged Arabian. Please to explain it.
Lucy Lawless: Ah, yeah, well, whenever you notice something like that, a wizard did it.
Professor Frink: I see, all right, yes, but in episode AG4...
Lucy Lawless: Wizard!
Professor Frink: Ah, for glavin' out loud!
Lenny: Hey Homer, that's four strikes in a row. You've got a perfect game goin'.
Carl: Careful what you say, Lenny. You'll jinx it.
Lenny: Alright, sorry. Miss. Miss! Sorry, I was callin' the waitress. Uh, this split you sold me is makin' me choke.
Lenny: What? I paid $7.10 for this split.
Carl: Will you at least call it a banana split, you dumb-wad!?
Lenny: Hey, spare me your gutter mouth!
Homer: I don't need Lisa to write a good review. "The food at the Gilded Truffle really..." Uh, what's a good word?
Maggie: [Sucks on pacifier].
Homer: "Sucks." That's great. "And the bread was really..." Come on, help me out here.
Santa's Little Helper: Ruff.
Homer: Rough? I don't know, you've been pitching that all night.
Santa's Little Helper: Chewy?
Homer: "Chewy," that's inspired.
Luigi: Homer is out of control. He gave me a bad review. So my friend put a horse head in his bed. He ate the head and gave it a bad review. True story.
Captain McAllister: Arr, well I've had it with Homer. His bad reviews are sinking our businesses.
Akira: Then why did you put yours in the window?
Captain McAllister: Arr, it covered up the D from the health inspector.
Restaurant Owner: Well I say we ban Homer from our restaurants.
Akira: No, that would be impolite. I say we kill him.
Izzy: Now hold on a minute. Are we restaurateurs or are we murderers?
Captain McAllister: Does that answer your question? [Points to a plaque on the wall intended for Homer's head.]
Akira: We'll kill him at the Taste of Springfield Festival. Well give Homer all he can eat, 'til he can eat no more. Then he'll get his just dessert.
French Chef: [Showing a picture of an eclair] This will be Homer Simpson's last lagniappe.
Restaurant Owner: Come on, you're gonna kill him with a pastry? I've seen this man eat a bowl of change.
French Chef: This eclair is over one million calories, 25 lbs of butter per square inch, covered with chocolate so dark, light cannot escape its surface. [Everyone else drools and paws at the picture.] No, no, no. This is just a picture. But Homer Simpson will find the real thing both delicious and deadly.
Akira: Ah yes, death by chocolate. Ah ha ha ha.
French Chef: And poison. I'll stick in some poison.