The Simpsons
Movie Quote Quiz

Homerpalooza - S7-E24

Abe: What the hell are you two doin'?
Barney: It's called "rockin' out."
Homer: You wouldn't understand, Dad. You're not "with it."
Abe: I used to be "with it," but then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm "with" isn't "it," and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you.

Phaneron

Bart's Friend Falls in Love - S3-E23

Milhouse: Bart, I don't want you to see me cry.
Bart: Oh, come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee. You cry when they're out of chocolate milk. You cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.

Phaneron

A Star is Burns - S6-E18

Jay Sherman: Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in "Death Wish 9."
Charles Bronson: [Bedridden in a hospital.] I wish I was dead.

Phaneron

You Only Move Twice - S8-E2

Hank Scorpio: Good afternoon, gentleman. This is Scorpio. I have the doomsday device. You have 72 hours to deliver the gold, or you face the consequences. And to prove I'm not bluffing, watch this. [Presses the button on a remote control, causing a bridge to collapse.]
U.N. Official #1: Oh my God, the 59th Street bridge.
U.N. Official #2: Maybe it just collapsed on its own.
U.N. Official #1: We can't take that chance.
U.N. Official #2: You always say that. I want to take a chance.

Phaneron

Bart Star - S9-E6

[Marge is trying to purchase a sports cup for Bart.]
Marge: He's going to need, uh, protection.
Clerk: Sure, one helmet coming up.
Marge: I was thinking more like protection for, down there.
Clerk: Oh, why didn't you say so? Knee pads, you got it.
Marge: [Laughs nervously] I'm talking about his personal area.
Clerk: Aha, say no more. I read you loud and clear. The old shoulder pads.
Marge: Look, I want a cup.
Clerk: Cup? Could you spell that?
Marge: C-U-P. I wanna C-U... oh my god!

Phaneron

Mommie Beerest - S16-E7

Marge: You'd be quite a catch if you'd shower and shave and stop swearing under your breath.
Moe: Aw, thanks Marge. [Under his breath.] Know-it-all bitch.

Phaneron

Rosebud - S5-E4

Barney the Purple Dinosaur: [singing] Two plus two is four. Two plus two is four. Two plus two is four.
Homer: Heh heh heh heh. I can see why this is so popular.

Phaneron

Bart on the Road - S7-E20

[Bart, Milhouse and Nelson have just finished watching the film "Naked Lunch."]
Nelson: I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.

Phaneron

Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song - S5-E19

Principal Skinner: I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done, and then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through? [The scene jumps forward in time.] It was on the best-seller list for 18 months. Every magazine cover had it... [The scene jumps forward in time again.]...one of the most popular movies of all time, sir. What were you thinking? I mean thank you, come again.

Phaneron

Homie the Clown - S6-E15

[Krusty the Clown and Homer dressed up as Krusty are standing next to each other].
Legs: I'm seeing double here. Four Krustys.

Phaneron

Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner - S11-E3

Luigi: Homer is out of control. He gave me a bad review. So my friend put a horse head in his bed. He ate the head and gave it a bad review. True story.
Captain McAllister: Arr, well I've had it with Homer. His bad reviews are sinking our businesses.
Akira: Then why did you put yours in the window?
Captain McAllister: Arr, it covered up the D from the health inspector.
Restaurant Owner: Well I say we ban Homer from our restaurants.
Akira: No, that would be impolite. I say we kill him.
Izzy: Now hold on a minute. Are we restaurateurs or are we murderers?
Captain McAllister: Does that answer your question? [Points to a plaque on the wall intended for Homer's head.]
Akira: We'll kill him at the Taste of Springfield Festival. Well give Homer all he can eat, 'til he can eat no more. Then he'll get his just dessert.
French Chef: [Showing a picture of an eclair] This will be Homer Simpson's last lagniappe.
Restaurant Owner: Come on, you're gonna kill him with a pastry? I've seen this man eat a bowl of change.
French Chef: This eclair is over one million calories, 25 lbs of butter per square inch, covered with chocolate so dark, light cannot escape its surface. [Everyone else drools and paws at the picture.] No, no, no. This is just a picture. But Homer Simpson will find the real thing both delicious and deadly.
Akira: Ah yes, death by chocolate. Ah ha ha ha.
French Chef: And poison. I'll stick in some poison.

Phaneron

Goo Goo Gai Pan - S16-E12

Chinese Consulate: Your adoption application is in perfect order, except for one thing. You forgot to fill out the name of your husband.
Selma: Husband.
Chinese Consulate: Of course. The Chinese government only allows wholesome married couples to adopt. No hen without cock. I apologize if that is a double entendre in your language. It is not in ours.
Selma: Don't worry, I'll just write my husband's name on this form. Have you ever heard of MacGyver?
Chinese Consulate: Oh yes. Big star. Big star. We know he's not married to you.

Phaneron

Marge Be Not Proud - S7-E11

Gavin's mom: Gavin, don't you already have this game?
Gavin: No Mom, you idiot! I have "Bloodstorm" and "Bone Squad" and "Bloodstorm II," stupid!
Gavin's mom: Oh I'm sorry, honey. We'll take a "Bonestorm."
Gavin: We'll get two, I'm not sharing with Caitlin.
[A short time later, Bart is arrested for shoplifting.]
Gavin's mom: Tsk tsk tsk tsk. That boy's parents must have made some terrible mistakes.
Gavin: Shut up, Mom.

Phaneron

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