Edna: Let's do it on Martin's desk!
Skinner: It is usually the cleanest.
Springfield Connection - S6-E23
Homer: When Marge joined the police academy, I thought it would be fun and exciting, you know, like that movie, "Spaceballs." Instead, it's been dark and depressing, like that movie "Police Academy."
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: But Homer, twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for good and services.
Homer: Woo hoo!
[Homer is at Moe's Bar talking about when his jaw was broken.]
Homer: And when I couldn't talk, I learned to listen! You can learn so much if you just listen once in a while.
Lenny: Let's try it!
[They listen and hear Moe on the phone in a back room.]
Moe: Hello, uh, I'd like to arrange for an escort, please? TO WHERE? How about orgasm-ville, ya dumb - hey, hello? Hello?
Homer: Weaseling out of things is important for kids to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.
Barney: And I say England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston.
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: OK, you asked for it, Boggs! [Punches him out.]
Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barney! Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston! [Punches Moe out.]

Principal Skinner: Bart, now that you've graduated, I can finally say this: you really press my cider! [Crowd gasps in disbelief.]
Phaneron
Kill the Alligator and Run - S11-E19
Homer: Guess how many boobs I saw today, Marge. Fifteen.
Phaneron
Grade School Confidential - S8-E19
Bart: You are never gonna guess what I saw at Martin's party after you guys left. You know that playhouse? Well, I...
Principal Skinner: Good gravy!
Cafeteria worker: Oh, thank you. It's just brown and water.

Margical History Tour - S15-E11
Homer: And now, the star of our show: my son, Mozart. He makes Bach turn back, Haydn go into hidin', and, well, those are the only ones there have been so far.
Phaneron
Dude, Where's My Ranch? - S14-E18
The Simpsons Family: ♪ Just hear those sleigh bells jingling...
Blue-haired Lawyer: Cease and desist! You are forbidden to perform that song without paying royalties to the copyright owner.
Marge: Nobody owns Christmas carols. They belong to everyone, like grapes at the grocery store.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Not true, but you are welcome to sing the many public domain carols, such as "O Tannenbaum," "Good King Wenceslas," "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring."
Homer: Those suck! They're worse than nothing! I could write way better songs.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Go ahead, but don't use A-flat or G-natural, those notes are owned by Disney.
Homer: [Moans.]
Blue-haired Lawyer: That's A-flat.
Homer: [Moans in a higher pitch.]
Blue-haired Lawyer: That's better.

Answer: Willy referred to an encounter he believed he had with actual aliens, while Wiggum thought he was referring to the arcade game.