The Simpsons (1989)

The Springfield Files - S8-E10

Marge: Have you been drinking?
Homer: No! Well, ten beers.

Bart Star - S9-E6

Nelson's Father: Great game, son. I'm taking you to Hooters.
Nelson: Aw, I don't want to bother Mom at work.

Homer vs. Dignity - S12-E5

Edna: Let's do it on Martin's desk!
Skinner: It is usually the cleanest.

Springfield Connection - S6-E23

Homer: When Marge joined the police academy, I thought it would be fun and exciting, you know, like that movie, "Spaceballs." Instead, it's been dark and depressing, like that movie "Police Academy."

Homer to the Max - S10-E13

Marge: I don't want to snuggle with Max Power.
Homer: Max Power doesn't snuggle. You just strap yourself in and feel the Gs!

Boy Scoutz N the Hood - S5-E8

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: But Homer, twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for good and services.
Homer: Woo hoo!

Homer to the Max - S10-E13

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster.

Jaws Wired Shut - S13-E9

[Homer is at Moe's Bar talking about when his jaw was broken.]
Homer: And when I couldn't talk, I learned to listen! You can learn so much if you just listen once in a while.
Lenny: Let's try it!
[They listen and hear Moe on the phone in a back room.]
Moe: Hello, uh, I'd like to arrange for an escort, please? TO WHERE? How about orgasm-ville, ya dumb - hey, hello? Hello?

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important for kids to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.

Homer Defined - S3-E5

Smithers: Sir, there may never be another time to say... I love you, sir.
Mr. Burns: Oh, hot dog. Thank you for making my last few moments on Earth socially awkward.

Homer at the Bat - S3-E17

Barney: And I say England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston.
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: OK, you asked for it, Boggs! [Punches him out.]
Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barney! Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston! [Punches Moe out.]

Phaneron

Future-Drama - S16-E15

Principal Skinner: Bart, now that you've graduated, I can finally say this: you really press my cider! [Crowd gasps in disbelief.]

Phaneron

Kill the Alligator and Run - S11-E19

Homer: Guess how many boobs I saw today, Marge. Fifteen.

Phaneron

Viva Ned Flanders - S10-E10

Homer: [Screams] The Moody Blues!
Graeme Edge: Cold-hearted Homer ditching his wife, while ancient Ned runs for his life.
Justin Hayward: Chips of red and blue and white, but we decide which...
John Lodge: Can the poems, it's ass-whooping time!
Ray Thomas: I want fatty!

Phaneron

Lisa the Simpson - S9-E17

Announcer: We now return to "When Buildings Collapse" on "Non-Stop Fox."
[Bart and Homer cheer.]
Bart: Hey Lis', wanna join us?
Homer: Room for one more.
Bart: We're watching the TV.
Narrator: Man has always loved his buildings. But what happens when the buildings say "No more!"?

Phaneron

Grade School Confidential - S8-E19

Bart: You are never gonna guess what I saw at Martin's party after you guys left. You know that playhouse? Well, I...
Principal Skinner: Good gravy!
Cafeteria worker: Oh, thank you. It's just brown and water.

Phaneron

Bart vs. Australia - S6-E16

Homer: [Looking at Uruguay on a globe] Heh heh heh heh! Look at this country: U R Gay.

Phaneron

Margical History Tour - S15-E11

Homer: And now, the star of our show: my son, Mozart. He makes Bach turn back, Haydn go into hidin', and, well, those are the only ones there have been so far.

Phaneron

Dude, Where's My Ranch? - S14-E18

The Simpsons Family: ♪ Just hear those sleigh bells jingling...
Blue-haired Lawyer: Cease and desist! You are forbidden to perform that song without paying royalties to the copyright owner.
Marge: Nobody owns Christmas carols. They belong to everyone, like grapes at the grocery store.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Not true, but you are welcome to sing the many public domain carols, such as "O Tannenbaum," "Good King Wenceslas," "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring."
Homer: Those suck! They're worse than nothing! I could write way better songs.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Go ahead, but don't use A-flat or G-natural, those notes are owned by Disney.
Homer: [Moans.]
Blue-haired Lawyer: That's A-flat.
Homer: [Moans in a higher pitch.]
Blue-haired Lawyer: That's better.

Phaneron

Fear of Flying - S6-E11

Homer: Wait a minute. There's something bothering me about this place. I know, this lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies!
Lesbian: What was her problem?

Phaneron