Homer: Insurance is the greatest deal ever. If I get hurt, I get paid. And man do I get hurt!
[Listening to "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" in church.]
Homer: Hey Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?
Homer: If God didn't want us to eat in church, he'd have made gluttony a sin.
Edna: Let's do it on Martin's desk!
Skinner: It is usually the cleanest.
Springfield Connection - S6-E23
Homer: When Marge joined the police academy, I thought it would be fun and exciting, you know, like that movie, "Spaceballs." Instead, it's been dark and depressing, like that movie "Police Academy."
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: But Homer, twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for good and services.
Homer: Woo hoo!
[Homer is at Moe's Bar talking about when his jaw was broken.]
Homer: And when I couldn't talk, I learned to listen! You can learn so much if you just listen once in a while.
Lenny: Let's try it!
[They listen and hear Moe on the phone in a back room.]
Moe: Hello, uh, I'd like to arrange for an escort, please? TO WHERE? How about orgasm-ville, ya dumb - hey, hello? Hello?
Homer: Weaseling out of things is important for kids to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.
Barney: And I say England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston.
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: OK, you asked for it, Boggs! [Punches him out.]
Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barney! Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston! [Punches Moe out.]
Principal Skinner: Bart, now that you've graduated, I can finally say this: you really press my cider! [Crowd gasps in disbelief.]
Homer: [Screams] The Moody Blues!
Graeme Edge: Cold-hearted Homer ditching his wife, while ancient Ned runs for his life.
Justin Hayward: Chips of red and blue and white, but we decide which...
John Lodge: Can the poems, it's ass-whooping time!
Ray Thomas: I want fatty!
Grade School Confidential - S8-E19
Bart: You are never gonna guess what I saw at Martin's party after you guys left. You know that playhouse? Well, I...
Principal Skinner: Good gravy!
Cafeteria worker: Oh, thank you. It's just brown and water.
Answer: Willy referred to an encounter he believed he had with actual aliens, while Wiggum thought he was referring to the arcade game.