Squeaky Voiced Teen: We're out of Secret Sauce. Go and put this mayonnaise out in the sun.
Homer: I won't lie to you Marge... Well, good night.
Weekend at Burnsie's - S13-E16
Otto: They call them fingers, but I never see them fing. Oh, there they go.
Weekend at Burnsie's - S13-E16
Marge: Where did you get that suit?
Homer: Whoa whoa, one question at a time.
Homer: I won't lie to you. Fatherhood is not easy - like motherhood.
Troy McClure: Hi! I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such self-help videos as 'Smoke Yourself Thin' and 'Get Confident, Stupid!'.
Homer: You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.
A Star is Born-Again - S14-E13
Ned Flanders: It's so nice to shop for a woman again. The last thing I bought for a woman was a casket.
TV Announcer: Coming up next, Carmen Electra stars in "Boobs", about psychology students and their teacher who wants to be take seriously.
Homer: Aw. I thought it was about her boobs.
Grampa: I already got enough doctors poking at me here and pinching me over here and grabbing me down here and jiggling me under here. And that's just the receptionist!
Homer Simpson: Aw, dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
Homer Simpson: No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.
Homer Simpson: Trying is the first step towards failure.
Homer Simpson: Marge, it takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen.
Homer: I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
Ralph: Ms. Hoover, my worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have another one?
Ms. Hoover: No Ralph, there aren't any more. Just put your head down on your desk and sleep while the other children are learning.
Ralph: Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking.
Homer: Beer! Now there's a temporary solution!
Tree House of Horror III: The Simpson's Halloween Special III - S4-E5
Bart: Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?
Answer: Willy referred to an encounter he believed he had with actual aliens, while Wiggum thought he was referring to the arcade game.