The Simpsons (1989)

Squeaky Voiced Teen: We're out of Secret Sauce. Go and put this mayonnaise out in the sun.

Homer: I won't lie to you Marge... Well, good night.

Weekend at Burnsie's - S13-E16

Otto: They call them fingers, but I never see them fing. Oh, there they go.

Weekend at Burnsie's - S13-E16

Marge: Where did you get that suit?
Homer: Whoa whoa, one question at a time.

Insane Clown Poppy - S12-E3

Homer: I won't lie to you. Fatherhood is not easy - like motherhood.

Bart's Inner Child - S5-E7

Troy McClure: Hi! I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such self-help videos as 'Smoke Yourself Thin' and 'Get Confident, Stupid!'.

Homer: You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

A Star is Born-Again - S14-E13

Ned Flanders: It's so nice to shop for a woman again. The last thing I bought for a woman was a casket.

TV Announcer: Coming up next, Carmen Electra stars in "Boobs", about psychology students and their teacher who wants to be take seriously.
Homer: Aw. I thought it was about her boobs.

Grampa: I already got enough doctors poking at me here and pinching me over here and grabbing me down here and jiggling me under here. And that's just the receptionist!

Homer the Vigilante - S5-E11

Homer Simpson: Aw, dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.

Homer Simpson: No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

Homer Simpson: Trying is the first step towards failure.

Homer Simpson: Marge, it takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen.

Lisa the Vegetarian - S7-E5

Homer: Look, look I got my invitations back from the printers.
Lisa: "Come to Homer's B.B.B.Q. The extra B is for B.Y.O.B.B." What's that extra B for?
Homer: That's a typo.

Homer: Who's going to watch the kids?
Marge: You are!
Homer: Me? But I'm the father!

Homer: I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

Lisa the Vegetarian - S7-E5

Ralph: Ms. Hoover, my worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have another one?
Ms. Hoover: No Ralph, there aren't any more. Just put your head down on your desk and sleep while the other children are learning.
Ralph: Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking.

Homer's Odyssey - S1-E3

Homer: Beer! Now there's a temporary solution!

Tree House of Horror III: The Simpson's Halloween Special III - S4-E5

Bart: Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?