Rick and Morty (2013)

5 quotes

Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate - S2-E8

Old Alien in Wheelchair: I've dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises. It's funny to say they're small. It's funny to say they're big. I've been at parties where humans have held bottles, pencils, thermoses, in front of themselves and called out, "Hey, look at me. I'm Mr. So-and-so dick. I've got such-and-such for a penis." I never saw it fail to get a laugh.

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Something Ricked This Way Comes - S1-E9

Rick: Cute, your sister's boss gave me a microscope that would have made me retarded.
Morty: Ooh. Oh, boy, Rick, I, I don't think you're allowed to say that word, you know.
Rick: Morty, I'm not disparaging the differently abled. I'm stating the fact if I had used this microscope, it would have made me mentally retarded.
Morty: Okay, yeah, but I don't think it's about logic, Rick. I, I think the word has just become a symbolic issue for powerful groups that feel like they're doing the right thing.
Rick: Well, that's retarded.

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Bishop73

The Wedding Squanchers - S2-E10

Mr. Poopybutthole: Tune in to "Rick and Morty" season three in, like, a year and a half...or longer, to see how we unravel this mess. Ohh-wee.

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Pilot - S1-E1

Rick: This was a good breakfast, Beth. You really made the crap out of those eggs.

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Bishop73

Pilot - S1-E1

Jerry: With all due respect, Rick. What am I talking about? What respect is due? How is my son suppose to pass his classes if you keep dragging him off for a high-concept sci-fi rigmarole?
Rick: Listen, Jerry, I, I, I don't wanna overstep my bounds or anything. It's your house. It's your world. You're a real Julius Caesar. But I'll tell you something, I tell you how, how I feel about school, Jerry. It's a waste of time. A bunch of people running around, bumping into each other. Guy, guy up front says two plus two, the people in the back say four. Then, then the bell rings and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. It's, it's not a place for smart people, Jerry. I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue.

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Bishop73

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