MuscleBob BuffPants / Squidward, the Unfriendly Ghost - S1-E11
Squidward: Spongebob, are you trying to drive me to the nut house?
Spongebob: No. Just into this hole.
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy / Pickles - S1-E6
SpongeBob: Wow, Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.
Patrick: It's too bad they're old.
SpongeBob: What do you mean, Patrick? Old people are the greatest. They're full of wisdom and experience.
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy / Pickles - S1-E6
Mermaidman: To the meatloaf! To the broccoli! Make sure you give extra broccoli to my young ward. The boy needs his vitamins.
Help Wanted / Reef Blowers / Tea at the Treedome - S1-E2
Mr Krabs: Do you smell it? That smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells...smelly.
Valentine's Day / The Paper - S1-E16
Patrick Star: You broke my heart! Now I'm gonna break something of yours!
Pizza Delivery / Home Sweet Pineapple - S1-E5
Squidward: [Answers phone.] Hello?
SpongeBob: Squidward!
Squidward: Is it time already for you to ruin my day?
SpongeBob: Squidward! Help me! My house is shrinking and I woke up this morning and it was getting smaller...oh no!
Squidward: Yep, it is.
[Patrick comes out from his rock.]
Patrick: Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? [Falls off rock onto his furniture then jumps out with a tuxedo on.] Hey, SpongeBob, don't start without me!
Pizza Delivery / Home Sweet Pineapple - S1-E5
Squidward: Sponge, we gotta eat something.
Spongebob: I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat coral. No, maybe it wasn't coral. Maybe it was sand, no, mud.
Squidward: Give me the pizza!
Spongebob: Wait, I remember now. It was coral!
Squidward: Give it to me!
MuscleBob BuffPants / Squidward, the Unfriendly Ghost - S1-E11
SpongeBob: I don't know how to say this Patrick, but our old pal Squidward, he's... He's pushing up daisies.
Patrick: Oh, I thought he was dead.
The Chaperone / Employee of the Month - S1-E12
Squidward: I could win it with my tentacles tied!
SpongeBob: That can be arranged!
Jellyfishing / Plankton! - S1-E3
Plankton: Hear me Krabs, when I discover your formula for Krabby Patties, I'll run you out of business. I went to college!
Culture Shock / F.U.N. - S1-E10
Plankton: F is for fire to burn down the whole town, U is uranium, bombs. N is for no survivors.
Answer: Because it's a Spongebob cartoon. Nothing makes logical sense.
Brian Katcher