Best family TV quotes of all time

SpongeBob SquarePants picture

Dying For Pie / Imitation Krabs - S2-E6

Mr. Krabs: What's the most important rule here?
Spongebob: No free napkins?
Mr. Krabs: No, the other most important rule!
Spongebob: Only discuss the secret formula with Mr Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: As long as you do that, the formula is safe.
Squidward: I thought the most important rule was why do today what you can put off for tomorrow?
Mr. Krabs: But what's today, but yesterday's tomorrow?
Squidward: What?

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Batman: The Animated Series picture

Christmas With the Joker - S1-E38

Joker: Jingle bells, Batman smells. Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got awaaaaaaaaayyyyy.

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The Legend of Korra picture

Night of a Thousand Stars - S2-E11

Korra: You have a battleship?
Varrick: Of course I do! I bought the first one they made! Named her the Zhu Li.
Bolin: You named your battleship after your assistant?
Varrick: Yep! They're both cold, heartless war machines.

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The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air picture

Bang the Drum, Ashley - S1-E2

Vivian: Philip, when I met you, you were into James Brown.
Will: He liked James Brown?
Vivian: Even wore his hair like him.
Will: He had hair?

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Charlie and Lola picture

The Most Wonderfullest Picnic in the Whole Wide World - S1-E12

Lola: Fun, fun, funny and sun, sun, sunny.
Lotta: Yum, yum, yummy in my tum, tum, tummy.

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heartis
What's New, Scooby-Doo? picture

Pompeii and Circumstance - S1-E12

Saladicus: Those who are about to fight, salute me. I am the Emperor Caesar Saladicus. Do you have any last requests?
Shaggy: Hold the anchovies.

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Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends picture

Sleeping Beauty - S4-E4

Duke: Excuse me. Are you a vandal? Driver told me vandals smash and break things.

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Hannah Montana picture

Miley Stewart: I can't believe it. I'm going out with a ninth grader! Wooo!
Robby Ray Stewart: Well, don't believe it, because I'm not letting you go. Wooo!

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Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! picture

Never Ape and Ape Man - S1-E7

Daphne: That puts the stairs back. But I wonder what the other switches do?
Velma: Well, with your luck, Daph, the next button you push will bring the roof down. But, go ahead.

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The Suite Life of Zack and Cody picture

[London is opening a fashion boutique.]
Mr. Moseby: How's the boutique business coming, London?
London Tipton: it's going to be fabi! I'm putting purses over here and matching belts over there.
Mr. Moseby: And do you have a business plan?
London Tipton: Weren't you listening? I'm putting purses over here and matching belts over there.
Maddie Fitzpatrick: No, no, he's talking about financial planning. Ordering stock, taking inventory...
London Tipton: I said, I'm putting purses over here and matching belts over there.

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American Dragon: Jake Long picture

Jake's Mom: Your sister really looks up to you.
Jake Long: She's two feet tall! She looks up to everybody!

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Jackie Chan Adventures picture

Enter the Cat - S2-E29

Jackie: Wait! Bayblonian urn.
Ratso: What's a Babylonian urn?
Finn: Probably more than we do!

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Avatar: The Last Airbender picture

The Ember Island Players - S3-E17

Sokka: Listen to this: The Boy in the Iceberg is a new production from acclaimed playwriter Pu Won Tin. He scowered the globe gathering information on the Avatar. From the icy south pole to the heart of Ba Sing Se. His sources include singing nomads, pirates, prisoners of war and a surprisingly knowlegable merchant of cabbage.

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Chowder picture

Grubble Gum/The Cinnamini Monster - S1-E3

Mung: We need more spice!
Truffles: Well, I'm glad one of us finally acknowledged it.

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Space Goofs picture

Candy: Lunch time already? It's been a good 45 seconds since you last ate. You must be weak from hunger.
Gorgious: Oh, hi, Candy. Hey, this chocolate Catsaban pickles cake you made is pretty good. Could use more sugar though. Hmmm, want some?
Candy: Eh, uh, no thanks. Gorgious, you should consider a more healthy diet. Your body is a temple, you know. You should eat light, drink lots of water and get plenty of exercise and most of all, remember, never, NEVER eat anything bigger than your head. I can see I'm wasting my breath, but mark my words, Gorgious. This sugar addiction of yours will be the death of you.

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Superman: The Animated Series picture

Mxyzpixilated - S2-E8

Mxyzptlk: Your three months are up! And this time you're not gonna cheat me of my fun.
Superman: Oh, it's you again, Mr. Kltpzyxm.
Mxyzptlk: NOT Kltpzyxm! Mxyzptlk! Now,  the first thing I'm gonna do - ah, nuts! [Disappears.].

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A Series of Unfortunate Events picture

Count Olaf: In all honesty I prefer long-form television to the movies. It's so much more convenient to consume entertainment from the comfort of your own home.

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The Adventures of Tintin picture

The Secret of the Unicorn: Part 1 - S1-E3

Tintin: He looks exactly like you.
Captain Haddock: Yes, he is good looking.

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The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius picture

Cindy: Origami - the ancient art of Japanese paper folding. I will be making the most difficult of all origami sculptures - a snow monkey...
Jimmy: Actually, paper folding originated in China...
Cindy: ...riding a flying dragon...
Jimmy: ...in the second century CE...
Cindy: ...while drinking tea...
Jimmy: ...and was brought to Japan...
Cindy: ...on a ladder...
Jimmy: ...in the sixth century!
Cindy: ...in December!
Miss Fowl: Cindy, I didn't know you and Jimmy were doing your report together!

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The Munsters picture

Herman Picks a Winner - S2-E16

Herman: After I'm through with you, you're never going to gamble again as long as you live.
Eddie: How much do you wanna bet?
Herman: I'll bet you a quarter, and I'll give you two to one!
Lily: HERMAN!

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Movie Nut
Mork & Mindy picture

Mork's Mixed Emotions - S1-E20

Orson: You opened the door to your emotions, didn't you?
Mork: Yes, Sir.
Orson: You realise you've broken the highest Orkan law. It is my duty to report you to the Council.
Mork: I understand. But I don't regret what I've done, sir. You see, for the first time in my life, I feel really alive, I feel fantastic! Oh, I wish you could try it! I wish you could feel some of the things I've been feeling!
Orson: Impossible. I could never do that. They'd throw me in prison.
Mork: Oh, I don't mean to be disrespectful, your immenseness, but until you can marvel at a rainbow after a storm or rejoice at seeing a baby walk for the first time, or hold someone and have them feel the same warmth inside as you feel close to them outside - until you can do these things, aren't you already in prison?

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Boy Meets World picture

Risky Business - S1-E16

[Cory and Shawn are listening to the radio for the results of a horse race.]
Radio Announcer: And now the results of the fifth race at Pimlico.
Cory: Come on Neckflap, baby!
Radio Announcer: And the winner is Ne... [Cory accidentally unplugs the radio before he hears the result.]
Cory: Nuh!? What kind of name is Nuh!?
Shawn: You idiot, you ripped the plug out of the wall!
Cory: Well he said "Nuh." It's gotta be Neckflap. What other horse starts with "Nuh"?
Shawn: [reading the names of the horses from the newspaper.] Okay, we got uh, Neckflap, Nux Vomica, uh, Nunzio's Dream, and remarkably a horse called Nuh.

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Gilmore Girls picture

Lorelai Gilmore: I'm going to the coat closet to make out. Don't eat my chicken.
Rory Gilmore: That's going on your tombstone.

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The Andy Griffith Show picture

Opie's Group - S8-E9

Andy: Clara, sometimes a parent can't see what he should do, and sometimes it takes a person from the outside to show him. And I'd like to thank you.
Clara: Groovy.

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Danger Mouse picture

Beware of Mexicans Delivering Milk - S6-E15

Penfold: Ah, good morning milkman, I'm just going to do my exercises.
El Loco: Ah si, you run, eh, you swim, you jump.
Penfold: No I lift the milk bottles.
El Loco: Guantanamera gringo.
Penfold: Er, no thanks, but we want some on Saturdays.
El Loco: If Saturday ever comes, eh?
Penfold: Erm, pardon?
El Loco: No importa! Hasta la vista!
Penfold: No just my pyjamas! Cor you can always tell whether they've been to Majorca for their hols. He even looks like that vicious Mexican bandit El Loco.

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The Amazing World of Gumball picture

The Man - S3-E24

[The kids are trying to get Granny Jojo out their bedroom window to have her reach the ground.]
Gumball: [grunting] How can someone so small be so heavy?
Granny Jojo: Well, I have two metal hips, one orthopedic shoe, six gold teeth, a plate in my head, and an industrial strength pacemaker. I got so much metal in me, I'm legally classified as a motor vehicle.

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bobthedancingdonut
Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers picture

Rita Repulsa: Ah, after 10,000 years I'm free. Time to conquer Earth.

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