Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: You know something, Wally? I'd rather do nothin' with you than somethin' with anybody else.
Mrs. Margaret Mondello: Things would be all right if my daughter could just find a husband. Then we'd always have a man around to give it to Larry when his father's out of town.
Larry Mondello: That was a great jungle movie, huh Beav?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Yeah, but there was too much kissin' and not enough apes.
Fred Rutherford: Have to keep a firm hand on boys nowadays, Ward. My Clarence answered me back the other day. I smacked him right in the mouth. None of this psychology for me.
Gilbert Bates: There's nothin' sadder than seein' old people try to be happy.
Mr. Willet: Mr. Whitney?
Hubert 'Whitey' Whitney: Who, me?
Mr. Willet: Yes. I spoke to you yesterday about making faces at Miss Hensler, didn't I?
Hubert 'Whitey' Whitney: I'm not making faces Mr. Willet. I just can't help laughing when I look at her.