Leave It To Beaver
Movie Quote Quiz

Eddie Haskell: Look Sam, if you can make the other guy feel like a goon first, then you don't feel like so much of a goon.
Wally Cleaver: I don't get that.
Eddie Haskell: Of course you don't. That's because you never went to kindergarten with a home permanent.

Eddie Haskell: Not me! Your father doesn't like me.
Wally Cleaver: Why would you say that?
Eddie Haskell: On account of the way he looks at me when he opens the door. Sometimes I think he'd be happier to see Khrushchev standing there.

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: You know something, Wally? I'd rather do nothin' with you than somethin' with anybody else.

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Do you really like me, Wally?
Wally Cleaver: I guess so.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Do you like me a whole lot?
Wally Cleaver: Look, don't get sloppy on me. I might just slug you one.

Ward Cleaver: Let's face it, June, Wally and Eddie have been friends for four or five years now - nothing's ever really happed.
June Cleaver: But Eddie has that look about him that makes you think something's always about to happen.

Fred Rutherford: Have to keep a firm hand on boys nowadays, Ward. My Clarence answered me back the other day. I smacked him right in the mouth. None of this psychology for me.

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: How come Eddie's such a creepy guy?
Wally Cleaver: He works at it.

Gilbert Bates: There's nothin' sadder than seein' old people try to be happy.

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: I could use my own money, the twenty-five dollars I got in the bank.
Wally Cleaver: I thought you were saving that to go to college.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Larry says he never heard of a college you could go to for twenty-five dollars.

June Cleaver: Eddie, would you care to stay for dinner? We're having roast beef.
Eddie Haskell: No thank you, Mrs. Cleaver. I really must be getting home. We're having squab this evening.

Larry Mondello: That was a great jungle movie, huh Beav?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Yeah, but there was too much kissin' and not enough apes.

Wally Cleaver: Did Dad hit ya?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: No.
Wally Cleaver: Did he yell at ya?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: No.
Wally Cleaver: Then why ya cryin'?
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Sometimes things get so messed up, crying is the only thing you can do.

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Boy, I sure wish there was somebody in the family for me to yell at.
Wally Cleaver: That's your tough luck.

Ward Cleaver: Sometimes I wish I had stayed single and raised silver foxes.

Mrs. Margaret Mondello: Things would be all right if my daughter could just find a husband. Then we'd always have a man around to give it to Larry when his father's out of town.

Wally Cleaver: Beaver... you got crumbs in the butter again. Boy, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's crumbs in the butter.
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Sorry Wally. That must have happened when it fell on the floor.

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Violet Rutherford drinks gutter water.

Season 5 generally

Other mistake: The opening credits for season 5 show June coming out of the front door with a pitcher of what looks like iced tea, and calling for Ward, Wally and Beaver who are all working outside. But the door opens by itself as she comes out, and then closes by itself behind her. If the entire family is outside, who opened and closed the door?

Jeff Swanson

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