Al: Well, we been having some difficulty. Ziggy, he's, uh, going through mood swings. I think we need get a girl computer put it right next to him, one with a nice set of hard disks. Sam: You would.
Al: Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And if you do, take pictures.
Sam: Say something to me in Spanish. Al: Uh, tu casa o mi casa. Sam: My place or yours - Al.
Sam: What is she doing in Syracuse? Al: I bet a lot people ask themselves that question.
Al: Don't tell me, let me guess, you've been invited to a costume party and you're going as a baked potato.
Al: Their only desire is for you to pamper them, and play with their. Sam: Al. Al: With their hair! Their hair.
Al: If we knew the unknown, the unknown wouldn't be unknown.
The Devil (as Al): What gives you the right to leap about time, putting right what I made wrong. Sam: I'm just trying to get home. The Devil (as Al): Well, you're not going to make it.
Al: Oh, well, almost all animals can see me. But you know, there must be something weird lookin' about me, because I seem to intimidate them. Sam: Maybe it's your clothes.
Al: I went over to check out the cheerleaders. Oh, Sam. There was one little girl who had these pommelos, man. Sam: Pommelos are grapefruit. Al: Pommel - that's my point.
Sam: I can't have a life. All I do is live someone else's life. I right their wrongs, I fight their fights - geez, I feel like I'm Don Quixote.
Sam: Leaping about in time, I've found that there are some things in life that I can't change, and there are some things that I can. To save a life, to change a heart, to make the right choice. I guess that's what life's about}: making the right choice at the right time.
Sam: Do you have to sneak up on me? Al: I'm sorry. What do you expect a hologram to do? Knock?
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