Linda La Hughes: Tom, I ain't a pussy-person. When people look at me, they don't think 'cat', they think 'dog'.
Zippy: Are you pleased to see me?
Linda: Of course I'm pleased to see you Zippy. It's just a shock, I haven't been this shocked since well I gave birth to you. I thought you were wind, I very nearly called you Fart.
Rick Cheesecloth: Oh Linda, butt out or get pretty! One or the two, eh?
Linda La Hughes: There aint no such thing as bisexuality, it's just greediness.
Linda La Hughes: No, Tom! Don't go near the windows! Don't go near the windows.
Tom: Why?
Linda La Hughes: Umm... Because Tom, Did you know that 175% of all drive-by shootings happen near French Windows?
Tom: Twiggy preserve us. One is no longer safe in one's own home... It's like that really scary movie, that really violent one. Damn, what's it called? Chocolate Orange.
Linda La Hughes: Well, German's are very misunderstood people, Tom. Take Fritz' mum Helga, she'll sit on your face, as soon as look at you.
Linda La Hughes: I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire! I'd get my bellows out and i'd stoke her up good and proper! Burn, bitch! Burn.
Linda La Hughes: I've had my best sex in the dark. Well blokes prefer it that way, don't they?
