Val Denton: We thought you'd be happiest down here on the sofa bed, you'll have your own shower and WC.
Harvey Denton: Into which we do not pass solids.
Papa Lazarou: Oh. You're my wife now.
Harvey Denton: Perhaps you are a naturally slothful person, sluggish and indolent, a dawdling flaneur, content to waste his life spread eagled on pillows forever indulging himself in the pleasures of the palm.
Iris Krell: He has made me do things that would make a whore blush.
Mickey: What time is it, Ross?
Ross: You've got a watch on.
Mickey: I know, but what time is it?
Tubbs: Look Edward, a freak show. Shall we take David?
Edward: No Tubbs, we don't want to frighten them.
Pauline: Watch your language.
Mickey: English.
Pauline: No watch.
Reverend Bernice Woodall: Some people call this "Theatre in Education" - I call it "aids in a van".
Pauline Campbell-Jones: Just who do you think you're talking to?
Cathy Carter-Smith: Well according to my report a psychotic 50-year-old lesbian.
Pauline Campbell-Jones: How dare you. I'm 48.
Tubbs: Will heaven be like Swansea?
Edward: Yes, Tubbs. Only... bigger.
Herr Lip: You're not like the other queer boys.
Matthew: Pardon?
Herr Lip: Queer boys, the boys that sing in the queer.
Papa Lazarou: Nice to see you again Dave, all grown up.
Harvey Denton: When I was younger I suffered terrible facial warts. I remember the whispered comments, "Here comes Harvey toadface." "Quick hide, toadface Denton is coming!"
Val Denton: And that was his mother and father.
Pauline: Ooh, it's half past nine. Time for men, men with jobs, to go to work. Other men stay in bed until dinnertime watching Tots TV, thinking about how worthless and pathetic they are... Good morning, jobseekers.
Radcliffe Denton: I once saw daddy beat a man until both he and the man were crying.
Tubbs: Don't touch the things, this is a local shop for local people, there's nothing for you here.
Tubbs: We could kill them all.
Edward: Ha ha. Oh, Tubbs. You're good hearted.
Pauline: Do you see how easy it is? its as simple as Mickey.
Edward: How much to leave the shop and never come back? Seventy? Eighty? All right a pound.
Edward: Hello, hello. What's going on? What's all this shouting? We'll have no trouble here.
Chosen answer: The members of the League refuse to admit what it's actually supposed to be, but have stated that it's possible to work it out from clues in the series. Human flesh seems like the most likely candidate, probably supplied by Edward and Tubbs from their general butchery of any non-local who sets foot in the place. Another theory is that cocaine is involved in some way as its effects seem to match most of the things that the special stuff is supposed to cause. So, combining the two, and why not, the "special stuff" is non-local human meat sausages impregnated with cocaine.
Tailkinker ★