Dean Winchester: Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.
Klaus Mikaelson: You rant and rave about the monster I have become, but you, mother, you are the author of everything I am.
Carol: haven't had a chance to say, I'm glad you came back.
Daryl: To what? All this?
Carol: This is our home.
Daryl: This is a tomb.
Carol: That's what T-Dog called it, thought he was right, until you found me. He's your brother, but he's not good for you. Don't let him bring you down. After all look how far you've come.
Angelique: Let me give you one word of advice, Dr. Hoffman. The pursuit of Barnabas Collins can lead to nothing but misery. He is a cold, harsh, unresponsive man."
Dr. Julia Hoffman: Who made him that way?
The Post-Modern Prometheus - S5-E5
[After spilling coffee on his lap.]
Mulder: Great, now my crotch will be up all night.
Courage: There's something fishy goin' on here, or my name is Stinky Looloo, and thank goodness it's not.
Wednesday: Dear Santa, we just wanted you to know that even though Mr. Thompson says that there was no such thing as Santa Claus, we didn't believe him. So please come or else it will make us look like dummies. Signed Wednesday and Pugsley Addams.
Damon Salvatore: I DO believe in killing the messenger. Why? Because it sends a message.
Norma Louise Bates: Why do crazy people keep gravitating towards me?
Eleven: Friends don't lie.
Alan Decker: It's okay. I'm used to the callous attitude mortals have towards vampires. I'm used to wandering the earth - reviled, hunted, hated. That's why I became a lawyer.
Coach Toomey: Actually, Burdett never made the team.
Carl Kolchak: No?
Coach Toomey: You see, his butterfly stroke was like an effeminate moth.
Father Marcus Keane: The power of Christ compels you.
The Crone: Do I look compelled, man of God?
Agent Devlin: Everybody's got a theory on the increasing violence in our society.
Agent Emmerich: My wife thinks it's the artificial hormones in beef.
Agent Devlin: What's your take?
Frank Black: I don't think it's the beef.
Paul: You know, sometimes a guys just gotta set the world on fire, hey Rolfy. I wonder if there's a nice bottle of rubbing alcohol around here, and a match.
Simon Holmes: Sometimes I wish we collected stamps for fun, instead of battling the forces of weirdness.
Fenella: Eustace has... dust allergies. Poor lamb. He must be having trouble... breathing.
Merton: From an old legend, and the third season of Buffy.
Rod Serling: For those of you who've never met me, you might call me the under-nourished Alfred Hitchcock.