Dean Winchester: Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.
Klaus Mikaelson: You rant and rave about the monster I have become, but you, mother, you are the author of everything I am.
The Post-Modern Prometheus - S5-E5
[After spilling coffee on his lap.]
Mulder: Great, now my crotch will be up all night.
Angelique: Let me give you one word of advice, Dr. Hoffman. The pursuit of Barnabas Collins can lead to nothing but misery. He is a cold, harsh, unresponsive man."
Dr. Julia Hoffman: Who made him that way?
Rick Grimes: This is how we survive. We tell ourselves that we are the walking dead.
Damon Salvatore: I DO believe in killing the messenger. Why? Because it sends a message.
Multiple characters: Mouth breather.
Wednesday: Dear Santa, we just wanted you to know that even though Mr. Thompson says that there was no such thing as Santa Claus, we didn't believe him. So please come or else it will make us look like dummies. Signed Wednesday and Pugsley Addams.
Coach Toomey: Actually, Burdett never made the team.
Carl Kolchak: No?
Coach Toomey: You see, his butterfly stroke was like an effeminate moth.
Courage: There's something fishy goin' on here, or my name is Stinky Looloo, and thank goodness it's not.
Norma Louise Bates: Why do crazy people keep gravitating towards me?
Alan Decker: It's okay. I'm used to the callous attitude mortals have towards vampires. I'm used to wandering the earth - reviled, hunted, hated. That's why I became a lawyer.
Phillip Broyles: Someone out there is experimenting, only the whole world is their lab.
[A bomb in Wadsworth's room is seconds from going off, causing the Chancellor to panic].
Chancellor: Please, please let me out. In the name of God, let me out. Let me out! Let me out!
Wadsworth: Yes, Chancellor. In the name of God, I will let you out.
Father Marcus Keane: The power of Christ compels you.
The Crone: Do I look compelled, man of God?
Dr. Paul Wayne: So what difference does it make, whether it's 20 minutes or 20 years, since neither amounts to the faintest echo of the tiniest whisper in the thunder of time.
Agent Devlin: Everybody's got a theory on the increasing violence in our society.
Agent Emmerich: My wife thinks it's the artificial hormones in beef.
Agent Devlin: What's your take?
Frank Black: I don't think it's the beef.
Reverend Purdy: I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.
Rod Serling: For those of you who've never met me, you might call me the under-nourished Alfred Hitchcock.