Tony Soprano: Oh, poor baby. What do you want, a Whitman's Sampler?
Tony Soprano: Is everyone in my life fuckin' bananas?
Adriana La Cerva: Ralph was asking if Tony was at the club. Why? Is he gonna be?
Christopher: You don't know what this guy did for me.
Adriana La Cerva: Yeah I do.
Christopher: Not just getting my stripes, something I can't talk about. Something that was ruining my whole life and he made it right. For what I owe him, I would follow that man into hell.
Carmela Soprano: I know you better than anybody, Tony, even your friends. Which is probably why you hate me.
Ralphie Cifaretto: I hate to do it, Artie. But I think I'm gonna pass.
Artie Bucco: Why not?
Ralphie Cifaretto: 'Cause if you don't pay me back, I ain't gonna be able to hurt ya.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You got any idea what my life would be worth if certain people found out I checked into a laughing academy?
Feech La Manna: What's yours is your Pauly, but what ain't, belongs to anybody else.
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Oh, what do you know about what belongs to who? You been in prison for twenty years.
Feech La Manna: Which entitles me to earn.
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Which entitles you to shit! In my book, you get points for staying out.
Feech La Manna: Then it's a good thing, Paulie, that your book doesn't mean oogatz to me.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Look, maybe I am wrong, but you have really changed since the old man died. First, Lorraine Caluzzo. Then you sink this idiot's boat. This not the John I knew.
Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: How much White Castle did you have?
Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri: I had none. I swear.
Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: I can smell it.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You know where I was yesterday when you called?.. I was outside a whorehouse, while a guy that works for me was inside beating the shit out of a guy that owes me money. Broke his arm. Put a bullet in his kneecap.
Dr Jennifer Melfi: How'd that make you feel?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Wished it was me in there.
Dr Jennifer Melfi: Giving the beating or taking it?
Phil Leotardo: There are no scraps in my scrapbook.
Joanne Moltisanti: When you find him, I want him to suffer! You hear me, Sil? I want that mother fucker in agony.
Silvio Dante: Don't worry. We'll do the best we can.
Christopher Moltisanti: Whatever you do, do not engage Silvio in conversation.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: More is lost by indecision than wrong decision.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: It's like taking a shit.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Ok. I actually like to think about it as a childbirth.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Trust me. It's like taking a shit.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What fucking kind of human being am I, if my own mother wants me dead?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Silvio Dante: Chrissie, I hear you're doing good with the gambling.
Christopher Moltisanti: You kidding me? With the money I made, I could go work at Denny's for the rest of my life.
Silvio Dante: Yeah, like they would ever hire you.
Christopher Moltisanti: So, you won't talk about this to anybody?
Black Thug: I got the mouth of a statue, ni**a.
Silvio Dante: You're only as good as your last envelope.