Christopher Moltisanti: Whatever you do, do not engage Silvio in conversation.
Tony Soprano: Oh, poor baby. What do you want, a Whitman's Sampler?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: When you're married, you'll understand the importance of fresh produce.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You got any idea what my life would be worth if certain people found out I checked into a laughing academy?
Carmela Soprano: I know you better than anybody, Tony, even your friends. Which is probably why you hate me.
Angelo Garepe: Rusty, I think he bangs his wife in installments.
Silvio Dante: Chrissie, I hear you're doing good with the gambling.
Christopher Moltisanti: You kidding me? With the money I made, I could go work at Denny's for the rest of my life.
Silvio Dante: Yeah, like they would ever hire you.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: It's like taking a shit.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Ok. I actually like to think about it as a childbirth.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Trust me. It's like taking a shit.
Joanne Moltisanti: When you find him, I want him to suffer! You hear me, Sil? I want that mother fucker in agony.
Silvio Dante: Don't worry. We'll do the best we can.
Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: How much White Castle did you have?
Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri: I had none. I swear.
Corrado Erico 'Uncle Junior' Soprano: I can smell it.
Feech La Manna: What's yours is your Pauly, but what ain't, belongs to anybody else.
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Oh, what do you know about what belongs to who? You been in prison for twenty years.
Feech La Manna: Which entitles me to earn.
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri: Which entitles you to shit! In my book, you get points for staying out.
Feech La Manna: Then it's a good thing, Paulie, that your book doesn't mean oogatz to me.
Christopher: Fear knocked on the door. Faith answered. There was no-one there.
Silvio Dante: You're only as good as your last envelope.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Phil Leotardo: There are no scraps in my scrapbook.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You know where I was yesterday when you called?.. I was outside a whorehouse, while a guy that works for me was inside beating the shit out of a guy that owes me money. Broke his arm. Put a bullet in his kneecap.
Dr Jennifer Melfi: How'd that make you feel?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Wished it was me in there.
Dr Jennifer Melfi: Giving the beating or taking it?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What fucking kind of human being am I, if my own mother wants me dead?
Christopher Moltisanti: So, you won't talk about this to anybody?
Black Thug: I got the mouth of a statue, ni**a.
Silvio Dante: My daughter got off on this feminist rant. She told me it's demeaning for a girl to be working at the Bing. The fact that these girls make $1500 a week has no bearing with my principessa.
Carmela Soprano: I would have to get a lawyer, find an apartment, arrange for child support.
Dr. Krakower: You're not listening. I'm not charging you because I won't take blood money. You can't either. One thing you can never say: You haven't been told.
