Dean Winchester: Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.
Agent Hotchner: This is Special Agent Dr. Reid.
Man: You look too young to have gone to medical school.
Agent Reid: They are PhD's. Three of them.
Man: What, are you a genius or something?
Agent Reid: I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, can read 20,000 words per minute...yes, I'm a genius.
Seth Wright: Mr. President.
Tom Kirkman: You don't need to get up every time I walk into a room. I'm not the Queen.
Seth Wright: No, sir. Virtually no resemblance.
Riots, Drills and the Devil: Part 1 - S1-E6
T-Bag: Can't you transfer us some place cooler? Like Africa? (00:16:20)
Raven: Evil beware. We have waffles.
Cordelia: You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?
Angel: Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.
Cordelia: What did you just call me?
Angel: I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
Cordelia: No, after that.
The Post-Modern Prometheus - S5-E5
[After spilling coffee on his lap.]
Mulder: Great, now my crotch will be up all night.
Benjamin Linus: Your flight crashed on September 22,2004. Today is November 29th. That means you've been on this island for sixty-nine days. And yes, we do have contact with the outside world, Jack. That's how we know that during those sixty-nine days, your fellow Americans re-elected George W. Bush, Christopher Reeve has passed away, Boston Red Sox won the World Series.
[Jack begins to laugh.]
Benjamin Linus: What?
Jack Shepard: [Still laughing.] If you wanted me to believe that, you probably should have picked somebody else besides the Red Sox.
Bejmain Linus: No, they were down 3-0 against the Yankees in the Championship Series and then won eight straight.
Jack Shepard: [Skeptically.] Sure, sure. Of course they did.
[Ben turns on a VCR.]
Joe Buck: Back to Foulke... Red Sox fans have longed to hear it! The Boston Red Sox are world champions! A clean sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals, and the Red Sox celebrate in the middle of the diamond here at Busch Stadium.
Sonny Crockett: I get these occasional urges for stability in my life.
Greg Sanders: For the record, I really like having a penis.
Mac Taylor: You're not a doctor. You're a murderer with a medical degree.
Admiral Adama: So say we all.
Courage: There's something fishy goin' on here, or my name is Stinky Looloo, and thank goodness it's not.
Coach Toomey: Actually, Burdett never made the team.
Carl Kolchak: No?
Coach Toomey: You see, his butterfly stroke was like an effeminate moth.
Night of the Sentinels: Part 1 - S1-E1
Morph: [imitating Senator Kelly] My fellow Americans, I am an idiot.
Norma Louise Bates: Why do crazy people keep gravitating towards me?
Lt. Horatio Caine: You're evil, you enjoy death, and I hope you enjoy your own.
Day 6: 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM - S6-E1
Jack Bauer: Do you understand the difference between dying for something and dying for nothing? The only reason I fought so hard to stay alive in China was because I didn't want to die for nothing. Today, I can die for something.