
Dean Winchester: Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.

Agent Hotchner: This is Special Agent Dr. Reid.
Man: You look too young to have gone to medical school.
Agent Reid: They are PhD's. Three of them.
Man: What, are you a genius or something?
Agent Reid: I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, can read 20,000 words per minute...yes, I'm a genius.

Seth Wright: Mr. President.
Tom Kirkman: You don't need to get up every time I walk into a room. I'm not the Queen.
Seth Wright: No, sir. Virtually no resemblance.

Raven: Evil beware. We have waffles.

Cordelia: You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?
Angel: Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.
Cordelia: What did you just call me?
Angel: I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
Cordelia: No, after that.

Michael Scofield: I thought your cousin was trying to move in on your girl.
Fernando Sucre: That's my other cousin but thanks for bringing that up, jackass.

The Post-Modern Prometheus - S5-E5
[After spilling coffee on his lap.]
Mulder: Great, now my crotch will be up all night.

Night of the Sentinels: Part 1 - S1-E1
Morph: [imitating Senator Kelly] My fellow Americans, I am an idiot.

Greg Sanders: For the record, I really like having a penis.

Mac Taylor: You're not a doctor. You're a murderer with a medical degree.

Tony Soprano: Oh, poor baby. What do you want, a Whitman's Sampler?

Benjamin Linus: Your flight crashed on September 22,2004. Today is November 29th. That means you've been on this island for sixty-nine days. And yes, we do have contact with the outside world, Jack. That's how we know that during those sixty-nine days, your fellow Americans re-elected George W. Bush, Christopher Reeve has passed away, Boston Red Sox won the World Series.
[Jack begins to laugh.]
Benjamin Linus: What?
Jack Shepard: [Still laughing.] If you wanted me to believe that, you probably should have picked somebody else besides the Red Sox.
Bejmain Linus: No, they were down 3-0 against the Yankees in the Championship Series and then won eight straight.
Jack Shepard: [Skeptically.] Sure, sure. Of course they did.
[Ben turns on a VCR.]
Joe Buck: Back to Foulke... Red Sox fans have longed to hear it! The Boston Red Sox are world champions! A clean sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals, and the Red Sox celebrate in the middle of the diamond here at Busch Stadium.

Jack Ryan: I can't go to Yemen!
James Greer: Why not?
Jack Ryan: I'm an analyst. I don't interrogate people, I write reports.
James Greer: Well that's gonna make a doozy. Get on the fuckin' plane.

The Way of the Warrior (1) - S4-E1
Julian Bashir: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle!
Elim Garak: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.

Sins of the Fathers Chapter 9: Tombstone - S3-E9
Tombstone: Come down here and fight like a man.
Spider-Man: I don't suppose I could convince you to come up here and fight like a spider.

The Tragedy at Marsdon Manor - S3-E6
Samuel Naughton: Was the accomodation all right?
Hercule Poirot: No, monsieur Naughton. The accomodation was all wrong.
Samuel Naughton: Oh...
Hercule Poirot: The duck-feather pillows. It feels as if the duck are still in them. (00:14:50)