Best TV quotes of all time

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Workaholics picture

Adam Demamp: I'm like one of those dragons from Avatar.

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Degrassi: The Next Generation picture

Clare Edwards: What are you doing here?
Eli Goldsworthy: Hi Eli, how are you? Fine Clare thanks for asking.
Clare Edwards: Hi.

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7th Heaven picture

Rev. Morgan Hamilton: We cannot fight hate with hate. What are we teaching our children today? That will make things better tomorrow?

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Bates Motel picture

Norma Louise Bates: Why do crazy people keep gravitating towards me?

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Samurai Champloo picture

Mugen: When you point a sword at someone either you kill them or they kill you, there ain't no inbetween. So quit talkin' like a fuckin' pussy. Anyone who can't handle that should just shut THE fuck UP and GET over IT.

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Death Note picture

Yagami Light: I'll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I'll take a potato chip... and eat it.

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Ally McBeal picture

Georgia Thomas: Well, by all means let's hear your opinion, Richard.
Richard Fish: Simple. Men and women. Friction.
Georgia Thomas: That's it? Friction?
Richard Fish: Friction, friction, friction, orgasm. Fishism.

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McHale's Navy picture

Capt. Binghamton: Commander, how would you and your men like two weeks with nothing to do but play gin rummy, go surfing, have luaus with steel drum bands, dancing girls, hmm?
Lieut. Comdr. Quinton McHale: Two whole weeks? Woo hooo, oh that'd be a wonderful change sir. Yes sir.
Capt. Binghamton: Knock it off McHale. That's what you do every week.

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The Facts of Life picture

Jo Polniaczek: There are people who in this world get shoved around and there are people who do the shoving.

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Hollyoaks picture

Stacey: Can you make me one of those coffees?
Bella Manning: Would that be with or without arsenic?
Stacey: Oh, I don't mind as long as it's frothy.

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No Ordinary Family picture

No Ordinary Animal - S1-E18

J.J.: So far this guy's only attacked supers. So he must have known somehow that Katie has powers.
Katie: How? I didn't even know I had powers. And also, how the hell do I have powers?

Bishop73
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Grounded for Life picture

Henry Finnerty: Wow, that ride must be really scary. Those two guys are holding hands.
James "Jimmy" Finnerty: That's the line for cotton candy.

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Last of the Summer Wine picture

Crums - S10-E7

Seymour: People don't realise there is an imposter running around pretending to be Father Christmas.
Clegg: It happens every election.

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Luther picture

DSU Martin Schenk: I know men like you the way you know men like me, and I know you wouldn't have done this if you believed there was the least chance of it coming back on you. Well, guess what: it's come back on you like the Hand of God, and the next words from your mouth will determine the weight and velocity of the staggering tonnage of shit that's about to plummet onto your head.

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Star Trek: Deep Space Nine picture

The Way of the Warrior (1) - S4-E1

Julian Bashir: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle!
Elim Garak: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.

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Alias picture

Sloane: Marshall, would you please go back to work?
Agent Marshall Flinkman: Just to clarify, I'm not being fired?
Sloane: Back to work means not fired.

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Hercules: The Legendary Journeys picture

Autolycus: Gadzooks, if I were a woman I'd kiss myself.

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Police Squad! picture

Warner: What do I do?!?
Frank: I believe you are in the textile industry.

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Perry Mason picture

Hamilton Burger: Incompetent, irrelevant, and immaterial.

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Bottom picture

Digger - S2-E1

Woman: And your name?
Eddie: Edward Hitler.
Women: Ooh, any relation?
Eddie: Well... I've got a mother.
Women: No, no I meant to Adolf Hitler.
Eddie: Yes, that's her!

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