Best TV quotes of all time

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Battlestar Galactica picture

Resurection Ship - S2-E11

Starbuck: Starbuck to all Vipers. Do not fire! Repeat: Do NOT fire! I am a friendly, okay? We're all friendlies...so let's just...be...friendly!

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The Story of Tracy Beaker picture

Louise: You, you chocolate thief.

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Home Improvement picture

Neighbours - S8-E20

Tim: Al, why don't you tell us your favorite part of gardening?
Al: Well, I'd have to say it's getting down and dirty with my hoe.

Phaneron Premium member

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Transformers picture

Megatron: Is there anyone brave - or stupid enough - to oppose us? This city is under martial law... and I am the marshal.

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Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends picture

Sleeping Beauty - S4-E4

Duke: Excuse me. Are you a vandal? Driver told me vandals smash and break things.

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Quantum Leap picture

Sam: Leaping about in time, I've found that there are some things in life that I can't change, and there are some things that I can. To save a life, to change a heart, to make the right choice. I guess that's what life's about, making the right choice at the right time.

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Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency picture

Horizons - S1-E1

Detective Estevez: You didn't...see anything weird this morning, did you Mr. Brotzman?
Todd Brotzman: Yes. No. M-Maybe. I don't know.
Detective Estevez: Are you aware you just gave every possible response to that question? Eyebrows. [Detective Zimmerman raises his eyebrows].

Bishop73

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30 Rock picture

Jack: We are lovers.
Liz Lemon: That word bums me out unless it's between the words "meat" and "pizza."

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Black Sails picture

XI - S2-E3

Ann Bonnie: If you're angry about the whore and me, just fucking say so.
Jack Rackham: You have an itch that needs scratching, go with God. My trouble isn't that she knows how to play the thing between your legs better than I do, but the one between your ears.

Friso94

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Band of Brothers picture

Guarnere: Jesus Christ, we gotta do all this with a C.O. who has his head so far up his fuckin' ass, that lump in his throat is his goddamn nose.

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Superman picture Video

Voices: Up in the sky, look: It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superman! (00:00:10)

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King of the Hill picture

Hank: Calm down, Boomhauer! I can't understand a word you're saying.

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Melrose Place picture

Nurse Amy: She's your wife's landlord. That would be your present wife, number four, isn't it? And she wants all your belongings out of the house by to-night.
Michael: And did she say why?
Nurse Amy: Nooo, but I'm sure we'll be reading about it in tomorrow morning's newspaper.

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She-Wolf of London picture

Alan Decker: It's okay. I'm used to the callous attitude mortals have towards vampires. I'm used to wandering the earth - reviled, hunted, hated. That's why I became a lawyer.

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McHale's Navy picture

Capt. Binghamton: Commander, how would you and your men like two weeks with nothing to do but play gin rummy, go surfing, have luaus with steel drum bands, dancing girls, hmm?
Lieut. Comdr. Quinton McHale: Two whole weeks? Woo hooo, oh that'd be a wonderful change sir. Yes sir.
Capt. Binghamton: Knock it off McHale. That's what you do every week.

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ALF (1986)

ALF picture

ALF: Kate, have I ever lied to you?
Kate: Yes. Several times.
ALF: I meant today.

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Beast Wars: Transformers picture

Cheetor: We've got to stop them before they reach the base.
Ratrap: That's your department, Sky Cat. Fire up. We'll be right behind you.
Dinobot: My weapon is depleted.
Cheetor: I need a running start.
Ratrap: Criminy, the pair of ya! I've gotta DO everything?

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