Christmas With the Joker - S1-E38
Joker: Jingle bells, Batman smells. Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got awaaaaaaaaayyyyy.
Night of the Sentinels: Part 1 - S1-E1
Morph: [imitating Senator Kelly] My fellow Americans, I am an idiot.
Paul: Just like that: bing, bang, boom?
Jamie: At this point, I'd settle for the boom.
Paul: You don't want the bing and the bang?
Jamie: I did when we started.
Paul: And now?
Jamie: I'm over it.
Paul: You're a very complex woman.
Jamie: You don't want the boom?
Paul: 'Course I want the boom. Guys always want the boom. We only made up the whole bing and the bang just to get to boom.
Richie Ryan: Come on, do it. Come on, come on, go ahead, do it. When the Quickening knocks you on your skinny little ass, MacLeod's gonna be right there to help you up. I die, you go right behind me.
Martin: You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there.
Pam: You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there.
Martin: There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark and Lovely on damn near every corner you pass.
Hank Kingsley: Can I ask you a question, can I? How would.
Larry: You're not going to go and come back, are you?
Hank Kingsley: How would you feel if I started dating Beverley?
Larry: I'd say it was your business, your life.
Hank Kingsley: Well I'm not into interracial dating, it never works - sex is good but in the mornign cultural differences start to raise their ugly heads.
Larry: I believe the cultural differences would occur with you and any woman Hank.
Nurse Amy: She's your wife's landlord. That would be your present wife, number four, isn't it? And she wants all your belongings out of the house by to-night.
Michael: And did she say why?
Nurse Amy: Nooo, but I'm sure we'll be reading about it in tomorrow morning's newspaper.
Frost: Yeah, well, I just wish Horn-rimmed Harry would be a little more choosy about his jargon. I mean anyone who spends all day with their pen stuck up their a-aah, there you are, sir.
George: Y'know, I think marriage is tremendous.
Gary Strang: I hate to be cynical George, but you think Croydon is tremendous.
Tracy: Now that I've expressly told you I don't need your help... I need your help.
Gomez Addams: Boy, these family wrestling matches sure are enjoyable. Right, Fester?
Uncle Fester: You said it, Gomez! And thanks to Lurch, I'll spend the next week coughing up vital organs.
Mayor Margaret Rutledge: Poor Mila is probably suffering from trauma too, dear.
Sydney Rutledge: She's suffering from drama, not trauma. Just a bad case of overacting.