Christmas With the Joker - S1-E38
Joker: Jingle bells, Batman smells. Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got awaaaaaaaaayyyyy.
Sarah: Does your mother know you write plays and things?
Saffie: No, and I don't want her to either, so don't say anything.
Sarah: Oh, you don't need to worry. I don't speak to her anymore. Not since she gave me that chemical peel.
Saffie: Well, it wasn't so much chemical. And not so much peel. She set fire to your pig-tails.
Sarah: It's a good job I'm thick-skinned... Well, except for the shoulder.
Night of the Sentinels: Part 1 - S1-E1
Morph: [imitating Senator Kelly] My fellow Americans, I am an idiot.
Hank Kingsley: Can I ask you a question, can I? How would.
Larry: You're not going to go and come back, are you?
Hank Kingsley: How would you feel if I started dating Beverley?
Larry: I'd say it was your business, your life.
Hank Kingsley: Well I'm not into interracial dating, it never works - sex is good but in the mornign cultural differences start to raise their ugly heads.
Larry: I believe the cultural differences would occur with you and any woman Hank.
Paul: Just like that: bing, bang, boom?
Jamie: At this point, I'd settle for the boom.
Paul: You don't want the bing and the bang?
Jamie: I did when we started.
Paul: And now?
Jamie: I'm over it.
Paul: You're a very complex woman.
Jamie: You don't want the boom?
Paul: 'Course I want the boom. Guys always want the boom. We only made up the whole bing and the bang just to get to boom.
Gomez Addams: Boy, these family wrestling matches sure are enjoyable. Right, Fester?
Uncle Fester: You said it, Gomez! And thanks to Lurch, I'll spend the next week coughing up vital organs.