Best TV quotes of all time

Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.

Movie Quote Quiz
Green Acres picture

TV Kiddie Show Host: Sure, I remember that kid, he had on the most realistic looking pig costume I've ever seen. He won first prize.
Oliver Douglas: No, you don't understand, Arnold is a real PIG.
TV Kiddie Show Host: I'll say he is! We had five gallons of ice cream for those kids, and he ate every bit of it himself.

More Green Acres quotes
Iron Man: Armored Adventures picture

Iron Forged in Fire: Part One - S1-E1

Math Professor: What you’re looking at here is widely thought to be the hardest math equation in the world, and has yet to be solved. What we are doing today is far less difficult, and...
Tony Stark: Sir? 42.

Quantom X Premium member

More Iron Man: Armored Adventures quotes
More Supergirl quotes
The Royle Family picture

Mary Carroll: Look at Anthony's hair. He looks like a little choir boy.
Jim Royle: He looks like a little gay boy.

More The Royle Family quotes
Dexter picture

Dexter: I am a father, a son, a serial killer.

More Dexter quotes
Last Man Standing picture

Pilot - S1-E1

Mandy: Will you go pick up Travis, please?
Mike: You can pick him up.
Mandy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, if you can just figure out how to change a tire.
[Mandy starts to leave.]
Mike: So sad.
Mandy: I'm living with Lord Voldemort!
Mike: I don't know who that is, but he sounds like a very caring father.

Bowling255 Premium member

More Last Man Standing quotes
Friday Night Dinner picture

The Sofa-Bed - S1-E1

Jackie: And Martin! How many times do I have to tell you? Stop eating out of the bin!
Johnny: Classic.
Adam: Classic.

Ssiscool Premium member

More Friday Night Dinner quotes
Wings picture

Joe Hackett: This is the dumbest thing Brian's ever done, and he once painted me blue.

More Wings quotes
More Will & Grace quotes
Perry Mason picture

Hamilton Burger: Incompetent, irrelevant, and immaterial.

More Perry Mason quotes
The Story of Tracy Beaker picture

Louise: You, you chocolate thief.

More The Story of Tracy Beaker quotes
More CSI: NY quotes
Battlestar Galactica picture

Admiral Adama: So say we all.

More Battlestar Galactica quotes
MacGyver picture

Friends - S2-E20

MacGyver: For the past seven years I have done nothing but travel around the world getting shot up, locked up, blown up...and all I have to show for it are a couple of empty rolls of duct tape.

More MacGyver quotes
More Farscape quotes
7th Heaven picture

Rev. Morgan Hamilton: We cannot fight hate with hate. What are we teaching our children today? That will make things better tomorrow?

More 7th Heaven quotes
More The Goodies quotes
NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service picture

Yankee White - S1-E1

Gibbs: I heard you quit, Agent Todd.
Kate Todd: Happy news travels fast. Yes, I resigned. It was the right thing to do.
Gibbs: Yep. Pull that crap at NCIS, I won't give you a chance to resign.
Kate Todd: Is that a job offer?

More NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service quotes
More Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends quotes
Bottom picture

Parade - S2-E4

Eddie: So, er, what did you do then?
Falklands War Vet: Well, I'd rather not talk about it.
Eddie: Why? Is it embarrassing? Shit your pants, did you? Cry, did you?
Falklands War Vet: Quite the opposite, actually.
Eddie: What, you sucked water in through your eyes?

More Bottom quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.