Hank Moody: You're so beautiful you're almost ugly.
Dean Stacy Koons: Hello, Hank.
Hank Moody: Good morning, Stacy.
Dean Stacy Koons: The front door was open.
Hank Moody: I can be, uh, very neighborly that way.
Dean Stacy Koons: You never called me Stacy before. I wonder why.
Hank Moody: I don't know. It kind of just rolled trippingly off the tongue this morning.
Dean Stacy Koons: Oh, something must be different. Ah, that's right. You fucked my wife.
Hank Moody: Despite the fact that I'm a swirling black hole, I'm pretty fucking awesome sometimes.
Becca Moody: I fucking hate you.
Hank Moody: AND I FUCKIN' HATE YOU TOO, YOU LITTLE SHIT.
Rick Springfield: Nothing like the sound of a stripper's head on a hardwood floor.
Hank Moody: Sorry for the mess on the rug. I didn't know your wife was such a squirter.
Hank Moody: Ain't life fuckin' grand?