NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service

Dead Man Talking - S1-E19

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DiNozzo: Ooh, a hottie
Abby: Isn't she a little old for you?
Dinozzo: She's about my age
Abby: That's my point.

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A Demon

UnSEALeD - S1-E18

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Abby: Is there anything you can't find?
McGee: Only a way to shut up DiNozzo.

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Sub Rosa - S1-E7

Gibbs: Cobb, I don't have to tell you what the most important thing to do now is, do I?
Cobb: Get the ice cream back in the freezer?
Gibbs: Exactly.

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Suspicion - S4-E12

Agent Gibbs: Give me some good news, Abby.
Abbey: I'm not pregnant.

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Escaped - S4-E2

Agent Gibbs: There's a little girl who just wants to go home with her daddy. So will you help me... Please.
Agent Dinozzo: Did he just say...
Agent McGee: Yep.

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SWAK - S2-E22

DiNozzo: How will you feel if I got Anthrax, boss?
Gibbs: Not as bad as you, DiNozzo.

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Pop Life - S2-E16

Todd: What you doing?
DiNozzo: Chronicling this little conversation for our next meeting with Ducky.
Gibbs: Are you done?
DiNozzo: Almost.
Gibbs: Done or Fired are the choices.
DiNozzo: Done.

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See No Evil - S2-E1

Donald Mallard: I once had an uncle who drowned in a vat of alcohol once
Agent McGee: I'm sorry to hear that
Donald Mallard: Well he did reportedly climb out the vat 3 times to go to the bathroom.

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Enigma - S1-E15

FBI Agent: you're under arrest!
Gibbs: What for?
FBI Agent: Pissing off the FBI.
Gibbs: Get used to it.

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Sub Rosa - S1-E7

Tony DiNizzo: I've never experienced Gibbs without his morning coffee... We're in uncharted waters here, Kate.

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High Seas - S1-E6

Agent Gibbs: How you doing, Kate?
Agent Gibbs: Kate?
Agent Gibbs: How's she doing, DiNozzo?
Agent DiNozzo: She's smiling.

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Agent Afloat - S6-E2

Ziva David: This is where you have been for the last month?
Tony DiNozzo: Yeah. It's just like the squad room, only I'm the squad and there's no room.

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Cubs Fan

Gibbs: Tony likes to hide behind the face of a clown. But he's the best young agent I've ever worked with.

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Tony DiNizzo: You know, in the two years I've worked for Gibbs, he's never shaken my hand once? Never.
Stan Burley: I was in the office two years before he even looked me in the eye.
Tony DiNizzo: Really?
Stan Burley: Yeah. Three years before he called me by name. Four 'till he got it right. By then, I'd actually gotten used to "Steve." He must really like you.

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Gibbs: I heard you quit, Agent Todd.
Kate Todd: Happy news travels fast. Yes, I resigned. It was the right thing to do.
Gibbs: Yep. Pull that crap at NCIS, I won't give you a chance to resign.
Kate Todd: Is that a job offer?

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Security guard: NCIS anything like CSI?
Anthony DiNozzo: Only if you're dyslexic.

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[Gibbs is drinking a cup of coffee.]
Kate Todd: Gibbs, it's like one hundred° in here. How can you drink that stuff?
Leroy Gibbs: It keeps me cool.

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Trent: After "Pulp Fiction", guns pointed at me in cars make me very nervous.

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