Best TV quotes of 2003

Cyborg the Barbarian - S4-E5

Raven: Evil beware. We have waffles.

Chapter 12 - S2-E2

Oro Dassyne: I wonder how many they'll send. We've got so much firepower in here, these walls are ray-shielded. They can't take this fort. It'll probably be, uh, fifty Jedi. They'll need at least that many. Huh, maybe a hundred Jedi! They'll never take this base with less. Ha, they'll need an army of Jedi!
Battle Droid: I have a visual.
Oro Dassyne: Jedi?
Battle Droid: I think so.
Oro Dassyne: How many? A thousand?
Battle Droid: No.
Oro Dassyne: Eighty?
Battle Droid: No, sir.
Oro Dassyne: What? Fifty?
Battle Droid: Less.
Oro Dassyne: Forty? Come on, how many?
Battle Droid: Two.
Oro Dassyne: What?! Give me those!

Admiral Adama: So say we all.

Lilo: Stitch! Are you okay?
Stitch: I'm okay. I'm fluffy.

Pilot - S1-E1

Michael: They're going to keep Dad in jail until this whole thing gets sorted out. [Silence.] Also, I've been told that the company's expense accounts have been frozen. [Gasps.] Interesting. I would have expected that after "they're keeping Dad in jail."

Yankee White - S1-E1

Gibbs: I heard you quit, Agent Todd.
Kate Todd: Happy news travels fast. Yes, I resigned. It was the right thing to do.
Gibbs: Yep. Pull that crap at NCIS, I won't give you a chance to resign.
Kate Todd: Is that a job offer?

Deputy Travis Junior: Getting two tickets to an execution is like getting two tickets to NASCAR, except you know Jeff Gordon's gonna die.

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers - S2-E8

Berta: Well gadzooks! Zippy's got his freak on.
Charlie: Yeah he has.
Berta: Well if they can put a man on the moon they can put a woman on your brother. (00:03:04)

Ssiscool ★

Amy Rose: Throughout history, behind every great hero, there's a great woman guiding him.

Caleb Nichol: I've come to ask a favor.
Sandy: I'm sorry, what did you say?
Caleb Nichol: You didn't hear me?
Sandy: No, I heard you, I... I just want to make you say it again.

Tiger Woods: I always wanted to say this... fa-shizzle.

Male Receptionist: Oh, boy. Where to begin... where to begin? First of all, fatty, I'm not bowing down to anyone. Second of all, unless you're here for a supermodel audition you're not seeing anyone's master. Third of all, shoo.

Jamie: Aren't tracer rounds illegal?

Brooke: Easy on the skanky innuendo.

Marjorie Dawes: Oooooh, I love a bit of cake. Oooooh, cake. Oooooh, cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. I'm just one of these people. I come home and I need a piece of cake.

Bam Margera: What country are we in?
Bam's Uncle: Switzer-Land Bam.
Bam Margera: And what are ya wearing?
Bam's Uncle: The Liederhosen you gave me.

Grace: Do you make a special effort not to speak in science metaphors?

Dr. Venture: Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip.

Charlie Lewis: You always had a beard?
Lila: Ever since I was thirteen.
Charlie Lewis: Me too.
Lila: You come by my tent later, dark and handsome, and I'll show you something else I had since I was thirteen.

Bill Maher: New rule: now that we know that this year's average Super Bowl ticket is selling for a record $5,500, and some tickets for as high as 28 grand, neurologists have to start looking into whether the fans also have brain damage.