Arrested Development (2003)

Pilot - S1-E1

Michael: They're going to keep Dad in jail until this whole thing gets sorted out. [Silence.] Also, I've been told that the company's expense accounts have been frozen. [Gasps.] Interesting. I would have expected that after "they're keeping Dad in jail."

Barry Zuckerkorn: So basically you're about 2,000 shares short of being the majority stock holders. Now unfortunately it's a private stock so you can not just buy up the shares unless someone is willing to sell
Michael: Are you sure?
Barry Zuckerkorn: That's what it said on 'Ask Jeeves'.

Pilot - S1-E1

Lucille: I'm giving the company to Buster.
Michael: Buster? You're giving the company to a guy who thought the blue on the map was land?

Gob: Steve Holt's not my son.
George Michael Bluth: Steve Holt? What, the moron jock?
Gob: That's my son, you pothead.

Lucille: The company is in danger.
Michael: What tipped you off? The falling profit margins or the fact that we're a regular feature on Bill O'Reilly's most ridiculous item of the day?

Lucille Austero: Today at lunch, you were ashamed to be with me.
Gob: No. I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you.

Tobias Fünke: Michael, you are quite the cupid. You can stick an arrow in my buttocks any time.

Lucille: You idiots. If your father sees me here with Wayne...
Michael: ...we'll be stuck with Barry.
Wayne Jarvis: I shall duck behind that little garbage car.
Michael: Guy's a pro.

Key Decisions - S1-E4

[Gob is getting ready to perform his escape from prison trick.]
Gob: Hey, is there a private bathroom I can use?
George: Uh... [taps the in-cell toilet with his foot.] You're looking at it.
Gob: No, I can't use that. I, uh, I need privacy. I've always been that way. Come on, if I'm going to pass this key, I can't do it in front of all these other guys.
George: Well, we could ask them all to leave, but uh, they've been locking the doors.
Gob: I've made a huge mistake.

Good Grief! - S2-E4

Tobias Funke: Michael, you should really try to find a way to release your feelings. Otherwise, they could come out at an inopportune time.
[Tobias looks into the refrigerator.]
Tobias Funke: Where the fuck are my hard-boiled eggs?!