Best TV quotes of all time

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The Tick picture

Interviewer: Well, can you... destroy the Earth?
Tick: Egad. I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff.

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Miami Vice picture

Sonny Crockett: I get these occasional urges for stability in my life.

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Absolutely Fabulous picture

Eddie: I DON'T WANT MORE CHOICE, I JUST WANT NICER THINGS!

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Desperate Housewives picture

Silly People - S2-E14

Carlos: You know who you are, Gaby? You're the kind of person who would have turned away Mary and Joseph from the inn.
Gabrielle: Well, they should have called ahead.

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Future Man picture

Haven Is for Real - S3-E5

[Watching a dreadful performance by James Dean.]
Josh: I gotta get some air.
Abraham Lincoln: I don't blame you. This is the worst theater experience I've ever had.

Jon Sandys Premium member

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Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends picture

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Oh, thank you, helpful trail of clothes. I love you.

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G.I. Joe picture

Destro: Premature panic is the sign of an immature mind.

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Boston Legal picture

Denny Crane: Now, Alan, if all else fails and you think you've lost... pretend you've won! Works for our president.

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Lucifer picture

Dan: I don't know whether to laugh or to shoot you.
Lucifer: Surprise me.

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The Facts of Life picture

Jo Polniaczek: There are people who in this world get shoved around and there are people who do the shoving.

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Prisoner: Cell Block H picture

Bea Smith: I'm going Freak-hunting.

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Once Upon a Time picture

The Evil Queen - S2-E20

Cora: Love is weakness. It feels real now, at the start it always does, but it's an illusion. It fades and then you're left with nothing!

Francisco Guerra

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Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! picture

Never Ape and Ape Man - S1-E7

Shaggy: Scooby-Snacks won't work on me this time.
Daphne: Would you do it for a Shaggy-Snack? A little something I whipped up.
Shaggy: Huh? A Shaggy-Snack?
Daphne: Yes, it's a pot-pie, with pizza crust, anchovies, pepperoni, cherries, all in a thick chocolate sauce.
Shaggy: Hahahaha! I'll do it! I'll do it!

Quantom X Premium member

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The Real Ghostbusters picture

Egon Spengler: Notice the vacant stare, the completely mindless look. That could only mean one thing.
Winston Zeddemore (I): She's from California?
Egon Spengler: No. She's been hypnotized.

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Kolchak: The Night Stalker picture

Coach Toomey: Actually, Burdett never made the team.
Carl Kolchak: No?
Coach Toomey: You see, his butterfly stroke was like an effeminate moth.

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CSI: Crime Scene Investigation picture

Greg Sanders: For the record, I really like having a penis.

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