Dr. John Becker: The world is full of idiots, and someone needs to point it out to them or they will never know.
Dr. John Becker: That's the problem with the world, everybody says "Everybody does it," so everybody does it.
Linda: Let's be honest, any world where I have to be the responsible one, I don't want to live in.
Linda: Where have you two been? You know I should never be left in charge.
Dr. John Becker: Too many people know where I eat.
Dr. John Becker: Romance is like the cheese in the mousetrap - it baits you into position, so the cold, metal bar of reality can come down and snap your neck.
Bob: I was doing some research on the internet.
Dr. John Becker: Must have come as a surprise that it's not all porn, huh?
Bob: One shock at a time.
Dr. John Becker: If you and I were the only people on the face of the Earth, that would be the only thing we'd have in common.
Margaret: Jake, you've got to see this.
Jake Malinak: I'm blind.
Margaret: So someone finally shot you.
Dr. John Becker: I always thought it would be you, Margaret.
Margaret: So did I.