Becker (1998)

Dr. John Becker: The world is full of idiots, and someone needs to point it out to them or they will never know.

Linda: What do you have against the New York City Marathon?
Dr. John Becker: The Marathon just gets my hopes up. At first it seems like 20,000 idiots are leaving the city, but then they just make a big loop and come right back.

Linda: Let's be honest, any world where I have to be the responsible one, I don't want to live in.

Dr. John Becker: That's the problem with the world, everybody says "Everybody does it," so everybody does it.

Linda: Where have you two been? You know I should never be left in charge.

Dr. John Becker: I never told you to shut up.
Mr. Humphries: You hung up on me once.
Dr. John Becker: So I didn't have to tell you to shut up.

Dr. John Becker: Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
Bob: That's nice, John.
Dr. John Becker: I was talking to the cigarettes.

Dr. John Becker: He took special interest in one student. Can you guess who that young man was?
Linda: Who?
Dr. John Becker: Linda, don't be such an idiot. It's me.
Linda: Oh, when you said young it threw me off.

Margaret: Jake, you've got to see this.
Jake Malinak: I'm blind.

Margaret: So someone finally shot you.
Dr. John Becker: I always thought it would be you, Margaret.
Margaret: So did I.

Dr. John Becker: Too many people know where I eat.

Dr. John Becker: Romance is like the cheese in the mousetrap - it baits you into position, so the cold, metal bar of reality can come down and snap your neck.

Bob: I was doing some research on the internet.
Dr. John Becker: Must have come as a surprise that it's not all porn, huh?
Bob: One shock at a time.

Dr. John Becker: If you and I were the only people on the face of the Earth, that would be the only thing we'd have in common.