Schultz: They DID blow up the ammo supply!
Le Beau: No kidding!
Schultz: You all knew it, before it even happened. How? H-how did you know it?
Hogan: Schultz, we know nothing, we see nothing, we say nothing!
Schultz: We know nothing, we see nothing, we say nothing. Very good! I'll have to remember that.
Never Play Cards with Strangers - S4-E7
Hogan: You wanted to see me, Commandant?
Klink: Yes, I do. Hogan, one of the most important men in Germany today is visiting Stalag 13.
Hogan: [Looking at Hitler's picture] Old Bubble head's coming here?
Klink: I do not appreciate your calling our Fuhrer "Old Bubble head".
Hogan: Oh. How about "Fruitcake"?
Hogan: [To Schultz about the Medical officer] Schultz, I want you to stall him for three minutes, then the Kommandant can see him.
Schultz: But why?
Hogan: We're trying to save Klink from the Russian Front. And if we save him...
Schultz: He will save me!
Hogan: Right. Now get going, raus, raus!
Schultz: Ja Wohl, herr Kommandant! I mean, Colonel! Oh, I don't know what this war would be without him.
Schultz: [To Hogan about Newkirk in a Gestapo uniform] I must report this. It would be worth my life if I do not report this.
Hogan: It's only until tomorrow. He's gonna take it off again.
Schultz: Aahhh.
Hogan: After he steals the tank...
Schultz: Ohh?
Hogan: from the Panzer division...
Schultz: Ohhh?
Hogan: and brings it here into the barracks.
Schultz: Oh, I see nothing, I was not even here, I did not even get up this morning.
Top Hat, White Tie and Bomb Sights - S1-E10
Burkhalter: Colonel, may I remind you, that we are here on official business?
Klink: Official business, yes. Monkey business, no!
A Klink, a Bomb and a Short Fuse - S2-E8
Newkirk: Oh, well, it's obvious, isn't it?
Le Beau: What's obvious?
Newkirk: Colonel Hogan, he's round the bend! He's crackers!
Movies Are Your Best Escape - S1-E8
Captain: Auf Wiedersehen, Colonel. Heil Hitler!
Klink: Heil Hitler, and get out.
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