Boston Legal
Movie Quote Quiz

Alan Shore: Ah, Denny, I've hardly seen you this episode.

Denny Crane: Now, Alan, if all else fails and you think you've lost... pretend you've won! Works for our president.

Alan Shore: You know I'm not about to go to Texas and not ride the mechanical bull, Chelina. That would be like going to Los Angeles and not sleeping with Paris Hilton.

Brad Chase: I outrank you.
Alan Shore: And I'm such a slut for authority.

Denny Crane: I have an erection. That's a good sign. I'm ready to go to trial. Lock and load.

Race Ipsa - S2-E23

Chelina Hall: God, the last time I saw you...
Alan Shore: I believe it was a Sunday, then I was taken off the air, you went off to do movies, I got switched to Tuesdays and...
Chelina Hall: Here we are, with old footage.

Denny Crane: You left me, Shirley. Women don't leave Denny Crane. And for a secretary!
Shirley Schmidt: It was the Secretary of Defense.

Alan Shore: Let me tell me two things about myself. I too am a lawyer, I can be painfully vindictive, and I do not play fair.
Lester Tremont: That's three things.
Alan Shore: See? Not playing fair already. And I'm just getting started.

Alan Shore: Shirley? What about senior partners? There would be nothing wrong with me, lusting, say, after... you? Would there?
Shirley Schmidt: Go subscribe to National Geographic. Make a list of the places you'll never get to visit. Add to that list, Schmidt.

Judge Harry Hingham: Alright already, I've heard enough. I'm going to rule on this.
Alan Shore: You can't rule yet.
Judge Harry Hingham: Why not?
Alan Shore: I don't know.

Denny Crane: May I express a thought, because I so rarely get one, and I should preface this by saying that I'm so far up the ass of big business I view the world as one giant colon.

Gil Furnald: I just like wearing women's clothes sometimes. It's not a sexual turn-on, it just feels right sometimes.
Denny Crane: So basically you're a sicko.
Gil Furnald: I'm not sick.
Denny Crane: Lighten up, man. So what, you got caught in a skirt? That what you're saying?
Gil Furnald: My employer found out, and, yes, I got fired. They asked me a lot of questions, like whether I'm gay.
Denny Crane: Well, are you? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Alan Shore: What's your specialty?
Dr. Allen Konigsberg: Couples' counseling. I first saw the client and his wife together. Since the divorce I've been working with him alone.
Alan Shore: So they came to you to improve their relationship, and now one wants to kill the other. Not your best work, was it, doctor?

Catherine Piper: I've been Schmidt-canned.

Brian Stevens: Motion for continuance is denied.
Denny Crane: You know what I'm going to do, Brian, just to show you there are no hard feelings? I'm going to sleep with your wife.

Race Ipsa - S2-E23

Revealing mistake: When Denise is showing Brad how to kiss, the first kiss is a typical "stage kiss" with their lips pretty clamped shut, but she then details what he's doing wrong with his tongue, which clearly wasn't at all involved with the sort of kiss they just shared.

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Son of the Defender - S3-E18

Trivia: The footage of Denny Crane as a young man trying a case with his father comes from a TV play called "The Defender", broadcast live in 1957. The details of the case and trial are the same as referenced in this episode, and the title of this episode is a direct reference. One notable difference is that Joseph Gordon, here played by James Keane, was played by Steve McQueen in the original, who of course couldn't reprise his role.

Jon Sandys

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