The Orville (2017)

Firestorm - S1-E10

Kelly Grayson: This is going to sound like I'm talking out my ass.
Isaac: Then please try to enunciate.

Old Wounds - S1-E1

[A banana is reduced to a shrivelled husk.]
Ed Mercer: So...it's an anti-banana ray?
Kelly Grayson: It's really interesting.
Ed Mercer: We need no longer fear the banana.
Kelly Grayson: Does it work on all fruit?
Ed Mercer: What about salads?

Jon Sandys ★

Old Wounds - S1-E1

Admiral Halsey: We would have offered you a command earlier, but you haven't really inspired anyone with all that much confidence this past year.
Ed Mercer: I know. I ha... I've had some personal stuff that's been going on. It's not really worth getting into. Can I have one of these mints?
Admiral Halsey: Those are marbles.

Cubs Fan ★

Isaac: May I ask why you terminated your coupling?
Bortus: We were incompatible.
Gordon: When Moclans break up, is there, like, all that stabbing, like with the divorce?
Bortus: No. Each Moclan extracts a tooth and leaves it with his former mate.
Gordon: Yeah. I knew it had to be something like that.
Ed: Do you still have the tooth?
Bortus: No. It is given to the next mate.
Gordon: Uh, let me guess. He eats it.
Bortus: That is correct.
Gordon: Yes! Man, I'm getting so good at this.

Bishop73

Officer Alara Kitan: Captain, there's a message coming in from Admiral Halsey. It says that an executive officer has become available and can rendezvous with the Orville at station 794.
Captain Ed Mercer: That's great. That's barely out of our way. Who is it?
Officer Kitan: He wants me to forward it to you privately.
Captain Mercer: Alright, send it to my station. [Reads message.] No. No, no, no, no.
Lieutenant Gordon Malloy: What's the matter?
Captain Mercer: [Running out of room] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Bishop73