Quotes from Eddie Murphy movies and TV shows

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Pluto Nash: You married twins?
Tony Francis: No, I met the perfect woman, so I had her cloned.
Dina Lake: Which one is which?
Tony Francis: Who cares?

Pluto Nash: You blew up my wood bar stools. You know how hard it is to get wood on the moon?

Rowland: There's a clone doctor named Runa Pedanken. Made a big name for herself creating an entire basketball team from one old guy.
Pluto Nash: The Air Jordans. Yeah.

Pluto Nash: So how's it going with you and Babbet?
Bruno: Me and Babbet? I don't think that's going to happen. I found out that I'm 110 volts and she's a 220.
Pluto Nash: Just go to the hardware store and get an adaptor.
Bruno: Nah. That just ruins it for me.

Reggie Hammond: Look, Jack, I gave you the money in good faith, you told me I could fucking trust you and now after all this shit I can't get my money?
Jack: Well, you finally got the picture, convict.

Reggie Hammond: Let me tell you something, Jack. If shit was worth something, poor people would be born with no asshole.

Axel Foley: Coffee grounds.
Jenny Summers: So?
Axel Foley: You know what this stuff is used for?
Jenny Summers: Yeah, some people filter hot water through it and drink it.
Axel Foley: Yeah, I'm gonna take this home and filter hot water through it and drink it in the morning.

Police Chief Hubbard: What's this man doing here?
Axel Foley: Bleeding, sir.

Axel Foley: Disturbing the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What's the fuckin' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?

Axel Foley: Gimme the key! I'm gonna follow 'em.
Jenny Summers: Have you ever driven a Mercedes before?
Axel Foley: No, but a car is a car. I drive my car every day.
Jenny Summers: I'm driving. I've seen your car.
Axel Foley: Oh, shit, that's cold.

Axel Foley: Billy, you know, you don't have to be embarrassed if your dick gets hard. Your dick is supposed to get hard. See? That's the whole object of this. Taggart's dick is hard, but he won't let you know 'cause he's the boss. Boss' dick got to stay limp, right? See, I ain't on duty so my dick can be hard.

Cigarette Buyer: You know, if you wanna be a fuckin asshole, you can take the whole load and smoke 'em yourself in the park.
Axel Foley: I don't smoke Lucky Strikes.
Cigarette Buyer: I got people I gotta answer to.
Axel Foley: I smoke King-Sized Kents.

Axel Foley: Is this your car?
Jenny Summers: Oh, no. In Beverly Hills we just take whichever car is closest.

Axel Foley: I never been in no cell that had a phone in it. Can I stay for a while, 'cause I ordered some pizza.

Axel Foley: I ain't doing nothing in front of this dude, 'cause this dude is a cop! I know when I can smell a pig inside a room. I used to be a Muslim, man, and I know there's pork over here!

Jiff Ramsey: Oh, gosh, I'm really hoping to get a career running errands. That'd be a major boost for me.

Clarence: Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you! Who's next?

Clarence: I met Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. one time.
Sweets: Man, you lyin'. You ain't never met no Martin Luther the King.

Clarence: Oh there they go. There they go, every time I start talkin 'bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out their ass. That's their one, that's their one. Rocky Marciano. Rocky Marciano. Let me tell you something once and for all. Rocky Marciano was good, but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't shit.

Prince Akeem: So, you would share your bed, and your fortune, with a beautiful fool?
Semmi: That is the way it has always been with men of power. It is tradition.

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