Rowland: There's a clone doctor named Runa Pedanken. Made a big name for herself creating an entire basketball team from one old guy.
Pluto Nash: The Air Jordans. Yeah.
Reggie Hammond: Look, Jack, I gave you the money in good faith, you told me I could fucking trust you and now after all this shit I can't get my money?
Jack: Well, you finally got the picture, convict.
Reggie Hammond: Let me tell you something, Jack. If shit was worth something, poor people would be born with no asshole.
Axel Foley: Disturbing the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What's the fuckin' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?
Axel Foley: Billy, you know, you don't have to be embarrassed if your dick gets hard. Your dick is supposed to get hard. See? That's the whole object of this. Taggart's dick is hard, but he won't let you know 'cause he's the boss. Boss' dick got to stay limp, right? See, I ain't on duty so my dick can be hard.
Axel Foley: I never been in no cell that had a phone in it. Can I stay for a while, 'cause I ordered some pizza.
Axel Foley: I ain't doing nothing in front of this dude, 'cause this dude is a cop! I know when I can smell a pig inside a room. I used to be a Muslim, man, and I know there's pork over here!
Jiff Ramsey: Oh, gosh, I'm really hoping to get a career running errands. That'd be a major boost for me.
Prince Akeem: Fascinating! Semmi, look at this! America is great indeed. Imagine a country so free, one can throw glass on the streets.
Clarence: I met Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. one time.
Sweets: Man, you lyin'. You ain't never met no Martin Luther the King.
Clarence: Oh there they go. There they go, every time I start talkin 'bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out their ass. That's their one, that's their one. Rocky Marciano. Rocky Marciano. Let me tell you something once and for all. Rocky Marciano was good, but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't shit.
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