Quotes from Eddie Murphy movies and TV shows

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Below are some quotes involving Eddie Murphy - click the title to view the complete list. If you think their finest moments are missing from the full list, please submit them.

Axel Foley: I ain't doing nothing in front of this dude, 'cause this dude is a cop! I know when I can smell a pig inside a room. I used to be a Muslim, man, and I know there's pork over here!

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Norbit: Oh Floyd, what am I gonna do.
Floyd the Dog: Kill the bitch!

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Donkey: And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!

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Donkey: This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swap manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!

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Shrek: Ogres are like... Onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: No.
Donkey: They make you cry?
Shrek: Nooo!
Donkey: Oh, you put them out in the sun, they turn brown, start sprouting little hairs.
Shrek: Noooooooo!

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Donkey: You, uh... You don't entertain much, do you?
Shrek: I like my privacy.
Donkey: Y'know, me too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence... [big awkward silence.].

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Donkey: Hi, Princess!
Princess Fiona: It talks!
Shrek: Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.

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Donkey: Oh, Shrek. Don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.

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[Donkey, Shrek, and Puss in Boots have just been arrested.]
Donkey: What about my rights? You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. Nobody said I had to remain silent!
Shrek: Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.

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Donkey: Are we there yet?
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Shrek: No.
Donkey: Are we there yet?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Really?
Shrek: NO.

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Donkey: Man, you are a cat-tastrophe.
Puss in Boots: And you, are ri-donk-ulous.

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Donkey: Why don't you just tell her what you told me? You know, about how you're her true love and you came from an alternate universe.
Shrek: Oh, and while I'm at it, why don't I tell her that you're married to a fire breathing dragon and you have little mutant donkey dragon babies?
Donkey: I do?
Shrek: You saw what happened. She's going to think I'm crazy.
Donkey: I'm a daddy?

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