Shrek (2001)

Gingy: OK, OK...I'll tell you. Do you know the Muffin Man?
Lord Farquaad: The Muffin Man?
Gingy: The Muffin Man.
Lord Farquaad: Yes, I know the Muffin Man. Who lives on Drury Lane?
Gingy: Well...she's married to...the Muffin Man.
Lord Farquaad: The Muffin Man?
Gingy: The Muffin Man!
Lord Farquaad: She's married to the Muffin Man?

Pinocchio: I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy!
Captain of Guards: Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

Fiona: Wait! Where are you going? The exit's over there.
Shrek: Well, I have to save my ass.
Fiona: What kind of knight are you?
Shrek: One of a kind.

Shrek: Ogres are like... Onions.
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes-No.
Donkey: They make you cry?
Shrek: Nooo!
Donkey: Oh, you put them out in the sun, they turn brown, start sprouting little hairs.
Shrek: Noooooooo!

Donkey: This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swap manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!

Shrek: Who sent you here?
Little pig: Lord Farquad did. He huffed and he puffed and he... Signed an eviction notice.

Ssiscool ★

Donkey: And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin' outta my butt that day!

Donkey: Hi, Princess!
Princess Fiona: It talks!
Shrek: Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.

Donkey: You, uh... You don't entertain much, do you?
Shrek: I like my privacy.
Donkey: Y'know, me too. That's another thing we have in common. I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence... [big awkward silence.].

Shrek: Donkey! Two things, OK? Shut. Up.

Farquaad: The winner shall have the honor - no, no, the privilege - to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon! If, for any reason, the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place. And so on, and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. Let the tournament begin!

Donkey: Can I stay with you?
Shrek: What?
Donkey: Can I stay with you. Please?
Shrek: Of course!
Donkey: Really?
Shrek: No.

[Donkey looks for a blue flower with red thorns].
Donkey: Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't colorblind!

zenee

Shrek: Aw, come here, you.
Donkey: All right, all right. Don't get all slobbery. No one likes to kiss ass.

zenee