Gingy: OK, OK...I'll tell you. Do you know the Muffin Man?
Lord Farquaad: The Muffin Man?
Gingy: The Muffin Man.
Lord Farquaad: Yes, I know the Muffin Man. Who lives on Drury Lane?
Gingy: Well...she's married to...the Muffin Man.
Lord Farquaad: The Muffin Man?
Gingy: The Muffin Man!
Lord Farquaad: She's married to the Muffin Man?
Joe: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Rafe: Ma'am, I'm never gonna be an English teacher, but I know why I'm here, to be a pilot, and you don't dogfight with manuals, you don't fly with gauges, I mean it's all about feeling and speed and lettin' that plane become like it's a part of your body, and that manual says that a guy who's a slow reader can't be a good pilot... That file says I'm the *best* pilot in this room... Ma'am, please... Don't take my wings.
Pilla: Colonel, they're shooting at us! Colonel, they're shooting at us!
McKnight: Well shoot back!
Dumbledore: It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.
Mark Darcy: I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences... But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.
[Having pulled over a speeding driver.]
Mac: All right, how about Cat Game?
Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
Foster: Ten? Starting right meow?
[They go up to the car.]
Driver: Sorry about the...
Foster: All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.
[The man gives him his license.]
Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow.
Driver: [laughing.] Sorry.
Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
Driver: Oh, no.
Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
[Foster stares at him.]
Foster: All right meow, where were we?
Driver: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
Foster: Am I saying meow?
Driver: I thought...
Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, do you know how fast you were going?
[The man laughs.]
Foster: Meow. What is so damn funny?
Driver: I could have sworn you said meow.
Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?
[The man is uncontrollably laughing.]
Foster: You stop laughing right meow!
Driver: [Stops and swallows hard.] Yes sir.
Foster: Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. It's the law.
[Rips off the ticket and hands it to the man.]
Foster: Not so funny meow, is it?
[Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows.]
Foster: Meow!
Virgil Malloy: Are you a man?
Turk Malloy: Yes, nineteen.
Virgil Malloy: Are you alive?
Turk Malloy: Yes, eighteen.
Virgil Malloy: Evel Knievel.
Turk Malloy: ...shit.
Johnny Tran: I'll see you in the desert next month. Be ready to have your ass handed to you.
Dom: You're gonna need more than that crotch rocket.
Johnny Tran: I got something for you.
Hanson: Who's ready for a wing?
Dwight: Yours or the turkey's?
Hanson: Well, I know what you'd like. How about a leg?
Pops Romano: I got an announcement to make. My son here, this big lug, He's a fruit. And I don't care who knows it. Come here you gay bastard, I love ya. The other one, he can't read a stop sign. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Come here you freakin' retard, I love ya.
Toulouse-Lautrec: The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return.
Donnie: Life isn't that simple. I mean who cares if Ling Ling returns the wallet and keeps the money? It has nothing to do with either fear or love.
Kitty Farmer: Fear and love are the deepest of human emotions.
Donnie: Okay. But you're not listening to me. There are other things that need to be taken into account here. Like the whole spectrum of human emotion. You can't just lump everything into these two categories and then just deny everything else!
Ardeth Bay: By putting this on, you have started a chain reaction that could bring about the next apocalypse.
Rick: [to Ardeth] You, lighten up. [To Alex] You, big trouble. [To Jonathan] You, get in the car.
Taylor: 500 fights, that's the number I figured when I was a kid. 500 street fights and you could consider yourself a legitimate tough guy. You need them for experience. To develop leather skin. So I got started. Of course along the way you stop thinking about being tough and all that. It stops being the point. You get past the silliness of it all. But then, after, you realise that's what you are.
Jack the Ripper: I shall tell you where we are. We're in the darkest region of the human brain, a radiant abyss where men go to find themselves.
Netley: I don't understand, sir.
Jack the Ripper: Hell, Netley. We are in hell.
Raymond Hasek: My dad always said my head was hard as a rock. He broke his hand on it twice.
Paige Prescott: Detective Vaughn, please remove your hand from my thigh.
Det. Leon Vaughn: Okay, where would you like me to put it?
Paige Prescott: How about up your ass?