Dean: Do you have any idea how much therapy you people need?
Dean: Marry me... again.
Jack's Mother: Uh, what it is you do, Mr. Staggliano?
Vinny Staggliano: College professor.
Jack's Mother: Oh! Uh, what do you teach?
Vinny Staggliano: College stuff. What are you, a fucking cop?
Dean: You two are going to dry up in some filthy lesbo lockdown. With BAD LIGHTING!
Bill: Well, Jack, looks like she got a free drink and one of your balls.
Max Conners: Forget it. You're not gonna kill yourself and stink up my new car.
Page Conners: Why can't we pick someone kinda cute?
Max Conners: Dean was kinda cute.
Page Conners: You're in serious denial.
Max Conners: Cute is dangerous. Cute leads to feeling, which leads to screwing, which leads to screwed.
Jack Withrowe: Look, I'm willing to explore the whole being dominated thing, okay? But let's just take it slow.
Max Conners: I'll protect her.
Dean: From what? From love?
Max Conners: From pain.
Dean: Love is pain! Life is pain. You can't protect anybody from it, it's always gonna get you. But sometimes, life could also be good. But you got to be open. You got to takes chances. You got to let go.
Jack Withrowe: My car doesn't drive so well with a tree in it.
Max Conners: Mothers are death.
Page Conners: Can't argue there.
Page Conners: Look, just give it to me, or would you rather have my heel up your ass?
Jack Withrowe: Who told you I'm into that?
Page Conners: I'd have to kiss that?
Max Conners: Well, I'd have to kiss that way more than you.
Page Conners: Maybe you're into necrophilia.
Dean: No more conning! No more! If you're gonna be my wife, you're gonna live a respectable life, chopping cars.
Jack Withrowe: Tell me to my face you don't love me.
Page Conners: I don't love you.
Jack Withrowe: Wow. More believable than I thought it would be.
Answer: Because Barbara stole all the money that Max and Paige had scammed from people over the years. She wants it back.
Grumpy Scot