Chandler Jarrell: I don't know, maybe he cut himself shaving and bled to death looking for a kleenex.
Chandler Jarrell: Only a man whose heart is pure can wield the knife, and only a man whose ass is narrow can get down these steps. And if mine's is such an ass, then I shall have it.
The Old Man: Keep your thought as pure as the water.
Chandler Jarrell: Hey, this water ain't really that pure.
The Old Man: Un-heh, neither are you.
Chandler Jarrell: That is a cool trick. Did you ever think about going into show business? Because you could...I could be your partner, I could throw a rock at you, you make it float off, hit the wall. Standing ovations all over the place. You ever hear of Ed McMahon's "Star Search"? Do they have "Star Search" in Tibet? Probably not. They probably have "Food Search." But you know what we could do? We could all go on "Star Search", right? And we give the audience rocks and let them throw them at you and then you can move your hand, make them all hit Ed McMahon...hard!
Chandler Jarrell: Hey, wait a second. You took a hundred. You took the hundred. No, that, no see, one dollar. See, one dollar is for you. See this George Washington? That's Benjamin Franklin. That's not happening. You got the wrong money.
The Old Man: Ahh...ahh...
Chandler: Can I have my money back? You gave me the wrong necklace too.
The Old Man: You're breaking my heart, asswipe.
Chandler: Oh, you speak English just fine.
The Old Man: So do you. So what of it?
Chandler: Hey, listen man. Give my hundred back, take this dollar and take this, and give me the right one.
The Old Man: Monkey breath, puke face, eater of turtle slime.
Chandler Jarrell: Tell me about the Golden Child.
Kala: Every thousand generations, a perfect child is born, a Golden Child. He has come to rescue us.
Chandler Jarrell: Rescue us from what?
Kala: From ourselves.
Chandler Jarrell: Ah.
Kala: He is the bringer of compassion. If he dies, compassion will die with him.
Chandler Jarrell: So, if something happens to the kid, the whole world goes to hell?
Kala: The world will become hell.
Chandler Jarrell: Ha! I got the knife! Now turn on the goddamn lights.