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Continuity mistake: It was snowing relatively heavily during the Baxters' drive to the Christmas party. Right before Catherine called to check on the kids and told Alexis "it's really snowing up here", an external view of the house did not show any snow falling. (00:38:15 - 00:38:42)

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Dillon: Dad, mom's being... weird.
Dad: You should have seen her at Burning Man. Mom's always been weird. (00:45:00)

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Dr. Tierney: Do you think he loved you?
Nicole: I used to. But I don't anymore. Now I think he only saw me as an object. Something he could control, something he could own. And that's not love, is it? (00:19:56)

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Nicole: [To Dr. Tierney] My friends used to say that he molded me into what he wanted me to become so that no man could ever take his place. (00:19:20)

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Nicole: Godammit.
Faye: It's him? You have to call the cops. He can't keep getting away with this.
Nicole: I can't call the cops.
Faye: Why?
Nicole: Do you think they're going to do anything? He's drinking buddies with half of the LAPD. (00:09:39)

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Nicole: [to Faye] I'm worried he's going to kill me one day and get away with it. (00:06:38)

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Number Four: We are the last of our kind. Three of us are gone. Dead. They are hunting us down, one by one, in order. I know I'm next. I am Number Four. (00:10:25)

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Curtis: Here. You want to take that one down to the basement, dude? I'm coming with you. Let's go.
Finn: [Hearing the statement Alexis made earlier] "People get really good deals if they find, like, a dead body in the basement". The basement level in Dragons and Warriors is a prison filled with ghosts.
Curtis: Yeah, well, the basement in a real life is just a basement. You can do it. (00:07:56)

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Max: Plus, do you even have insurance?
Lucas: I don't know. Do you?
Max: I don't know. I think I only have a deductible. (00:38:03)

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[Stan, working on his crossword puzzle, initially ignores Jarod.]
Stan: Can I help you?
Jarod: Yeah. I thought you only do cremations here.
Stan: We do.
Jarod: Then. Uh. Why do you got the coffin?
Stan: It's for show.
Jarod: Why offer something if you're not going to sell it?
Stan: I don't offer it.
Jarod: It's a perfectly good coffin. You should sell it.
Stan: I DON'T OFFER IT.
Jarod: OK. (00:20:22)

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Jarod: OK... um... 44 down: one subject to oppression, loss, or suffering.
Stan: OK... One subject to oppression, loss, or suffering.
Jarod: Yeah. It's 44 down... one, two, three. Six letters.
[Driver in back of Stan's car starts blowing the horn, nonstop, and starts passing.]
Stan: What are the last two letters?
Jarod: "I" and "M."
Stan: Guess... come on!
[Car is in the left lane, alongside Stan, passing - with horn still blowing.]
Stan: [mumbles] You son of a b... VICTIM! (01:20:30)

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Jarod: You can't kill this guy, Stanley - he's a nobody.
Stan: OK.

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[Stan initially ignores the Wagners while he works on his crossword puzzle.]
Stan: Can I help you?
Mrs. Wagner: Yes. We recently lost someone in the family.
Stan: OK.
Mrs. Wagner: And we're wondering if cremation is all you do here.
Stan: Yes.
Mr. Wagner: We really like the rates that you offered here and we're wondering if there were any alternatives.
Stan: No.
Mr. Wagner: No?
Stan: No.
Mr. Wagner: Great. Well, what's with the, uh, casket?
Stan: It's for show.
Mr. Wagner: Well, being that you're in the business, maybe you can refer us to someone.
Stan: There's brochures by the door.
Mr. Wagner: [Aping Stan] Honey, there's brochures by the door. (00:10:56 - 00:11:27)

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Jarod: I had a weird day at school today.
Stan: What happened?
Jarod: An officer came to lecture us in algebra.
Stan: What about?
Jarod: You know that kid I was telling you about the other day?
Stan: The one you had trouble with?
Jarod: Yeah, the guy who thought I was doing something with his girlfriend. He's gone missing, too.
Stan: So, that's both of them? That's strange... strange. What did you say their names were again?
Jarod: David and Lindsey.
Stan: That's right.
Jarod: They're not sure what happened to him yet, but I think he might be dead.
Stan: Why would you think that?
Jarod: Well, you can only go around being a dickhead for so long before it turns around and bites you in the ass.
Stan: So, do you think it was an accident?
Jarod: No.
Stan: Me neither.
Jarod: I think when a person like that is dealt with it should be applauded, not punished.
Stan: I couldn't agree with you more. (00:52:13)

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Peg: [To Mom] Haven't you ever dreamed of something more?
Grandma: I had a dream that John Travolta took off his wig and on his scalp was another John Travolta face. Double Travolta. I could never get that image out of my mind. You know what I'm saying? (00:40:56)

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Peg: OK, sure. I counterfeited Bills tix. But it was for a bigger cause. Higher education. Higher education is the key to financial freedom.
Cop: Ma'am... your scam is desecrating the sacred ground of our Buffalo Bills.
Peg: No, it's not. (00:09:13)

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Brother: Hey, shouldn't you put your money in the bank?
Peg: Three percent interest isn't worth 30 percent in taxes. (00:07:00)

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Young Peg: I became a student of money. While other kids begged for allowances, I studied profit margins. While other kids were scrapbooking pictures of pretty ponies, I was compiling financial advice. I was grooming myself to be the next Warren Buffet. I had a plan; go to an Ivy League school, then to Wall Street, then get so rich, some little girl was gonna say she's grooming herself to be the next me. (00:05:35)

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Young Peg: Buffalo, New York. Epicenter of the rust belt. A city whose favorite meal is discarded chicken parts. A city hopelessly dedicated to a staple of disappointment.
Mom: Hey. Don't rag on my Bills.
Young Peg: A city whose appreciation of unhealthy lifestyles ultimately led to my father's death. (00:02:55)

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Jin: You don't want to rent there. Too stink, shifty landlord.
Peg: Well, then why do you rent there?
Jin: I conned the dingus into giving me a 50-year lease. I pay shit.
Peg: You do good business?
Jin: Most of our walk-ins are Buffalonian assholes looking for a rub and tug. I did not come to the promised land to fondle soft weiners. I came to get rich. (00:43:28)

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