The Trouble With Trillions - S9-E20
IRS Agent: Mr. Simpson, this government computer can process over nine tax returns per day. Did you really think you could fool it?
Homer: Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, could you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausage in that syrup Homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not talking to me, and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room!
Lisa: Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
Homer: I don't need any serving suggestions from you, you barbecue-wrecking know-nothing know-it-all.
Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore - S15-E12
Groundskeeper Willie: Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots. Or Welshmen and Scots. Or Japanese and Scots. Or Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland!
Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.
Groundskeeper Willie: You just made an enemy for life.
Treehouse of Horror XIII - S14-E1
Zombie Billy the Kid: Now I'd like you to meet the Hole in the Ground gang: Frank and Jesse James. The Sundance Kid.
Comic Book Guy: What happened to Butch Cassidy?
Zombie Sundance Kid: "What happened to Butch Cassidy?" We're not joined at the hip, you know.
Zombie Billy the Kid: And the most evil German of all time: Kaiser Wilhelm.
[Everyone is confused]
Zombie Frank James: He ain't a cowboy!
Zombie Kaiser Wilhelm: Sure I am. Yippee. Whippee. Whippee.
Zombie Frank James: Okay, he's in.
Treehouse of Horror XIII - S14-E1
Zombie Billy the Kid: [to Homer] Play us some piani. [Homer begins playing "Fur Elise" and Billy the Kid fires his guns in response] That's piano, I said piani! [Homer begins playing some honky tonk].
Barney: And I say England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston.
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: OK, you asked for it, Boggs! [Punches him out.]
Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barney! Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston! [Punches Moe out.]
Principal Skinner: Bart, now that you've graduated, I can finally say this: you really press my cider! [Crowd gasps in disbelief.]
Homer: [Screams] The Moody Blues!
Graeme Edge: Cold-hearted Homer ditching his wife, while ancient Ned runs for his life.
Justin Hayward: Chips of red and blue and white, but we decide which...
John Lodge: Can the poems, it's ass-whooping time!
Ray Thomas: I want fatty!
Grade School Confidential - S8-E19
Bart: You are never gonna guess what I saw at Martin's party after you guys left. You know that playhouse? Well, I...
Principal Skinner: Good gravy!
Cafeteria worker: Oh, thank you. It's just brown and water.
Dude, Where's My Ranch? - S14-E18
The Simpsons Family: ♪ Just hear those sleigh bells jingling...
Blue-haired Lawyer: Cease and desist! You are forbidden to perform that song without paying royalties to the copyright owner.
Marge: Nobody owns Christmas carols. They belong to everyone, like grapes at the grocery store.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Not true, but you are welcome to sing the many public domain carols, such as "O Tannenbaum," "Good King Wenceslas," "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring."
Homer: Those suck! They're worse than nothing! I could write way better songs.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Go ahead, but don't use A-flat or G-natural, those notes are owned by Disney.
Homer: [Moans.]
Blue-haired Lawyer: That's A-flat.
Homer: [Moans in a higher pitch.]
Blue-haired Lawyer: That's better.
Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming - S7-E9
Chief Wiggum: Hey, where is Sideshow Bob and that guy who, uh, eats people and takes their faces?
Guy Who Eats People and Takes Their Faces: I'm right here, Chief.
Chief WIggum: Oh. Then where's Sideshow Bob?
Prisoner: Eh, he ran off.
Chief Wiggum: Oh great! Well if anyone asks, uh, I beat him to death. Okay?
Officer Lou: Right.
Answer: I'm not sure if this is the one you're thinking of, but an episode of "Ray Bradbury Theatre," called "A Sound of Thunder," dealt with a similar matter: a group of hunters travel back in time to hunt dinosaurs, only to find things have changed when they get back because someone stepped on a butterfly.
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