Lester: My job consists basically of masking my contempt for the assholes in charge and at least once a day retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off, while fantasizing about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell.
Brad: Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself.
Baby: You and I are a team.
Doc: Don't feed me any more lines from 'Monsters, Inc.' It pisses me off.
Baby: One more job and I'm done.
Doc: "One more job" and we're straight. Now I don't think I need to give you the speech about what would happen if you say no, how I could break your legs and kill everyone you love because you already know that, don't you?
Larry Mann: There are people in this world, Bob, who look very official while they are doing what they are doing. And do you know why?
Bob Walker: Why?
Larry Mann: Because they don't know what they are doing. Because if you know what you are doing, then you don't have to look like you know what you are doing, because it comes naturally.
Larry Mann: Murdoch? Oh, well, he's gone on to his great reward. Yeah... yeah, they say he's in Florida somewhere.
Larry Mann: Phil... man, we're in Witchita, Kansas. What does it matter whether we're on the 1st floor or the 500th floor? It all looks the same.
Larry Mann: Here's to the profound religious experience that comes from doing a job well and being grossly underpaid.
Larry Mann: Well, I'll be a son of a bitch! I don't smoke, you quit drinking, Bob here wouldn't even dream of lusting after a woman... between the three of us, we're practically Jesus.
Hopper: If I didn't promise my mother on her deathbed that I wouldn't kill you, I'd kill you!
Mulch: You know, no one appreciates that more than I do.