The Lady Chablis: It's like my mom always said: "Two tears in a bucket, motherfuck it."
John Kelso: I'll have to remember that one.
John Kelso: I've only been here three days and it's just a shooting, but give it time, okay. This place is fantastic. It's like Gone With the Wind on Mescalin. I know you're my agent. Listen to me, they walk imaginary pets here, Garland. On a fucking leash. Alright? And they're all heavily armed and drunk. New York is boring.
The Lady Chablis: You better grow you some nails, honey, because if he's a gynecologist, he's mine.
Jim Williams: Livin' here pisses off all the right people.
The Lady Chablis: Stop telling me what to do. I want to propose a toast. "From my top to your bottom. From your bottom to my top. From my middle to your middle. Be good John and I just might give you a little.
Billy Carl Hanson: You don't give me warnings, I give them to you, remember, 'cause I can back mine up.
The Lady Chablis: You know what, hun? I told her the same thing. I said if Vanessa Williams can pull one off on the Miss America committee, then her little whoring around in Atlanta, Georgia, was not going to mean anything to a little steering committee in Savannah.
The Lady Chablis: If I catch any of you bitches near him, honey, I want you to know, you're gonna have to deal with the Lady Chablis, the Doll, the Grand Empress, and my mother fucking ice pick. So keep your hands off a that one, okay?
Joe Odom: Joe's rule number two: If you have to leave a party, you always take a traveler.
The Lady Chablis: Yes, I am a bitch, and proud of it, honey.
Phillip: I'm an escort.
The Lady Chablis: An escort? Do you work for one of those services?
Phillip: No, I'm escorting my sister.
The Lady Chablis: Please don't tell me you're doing it with your sister?
Mandy Nichols: It's better to be on the edge of a party, don't you think?
Jim Williams: He needed what I gave him and I needed what he gave me.
The Lady Chablis: I'm the Lady Chablis. Hear me roar.
Lucille Wright: Oh, you're gonna have fun tonight.
Jim Williams: Indeed he is, Lucille.
John Kelso: You know I'm straight.
The Lady Chablis: So am I. Straight to my house. Let's go.
Jim Williams: Yes, I am "nouveau riche," but then, it's the "riche" that counts, now isn't it?
Jim Williams: This is the dagger that Prince Yussopov used to murder Rasputin. He sliced off his cock and balls with it. True story, and deliciously evil, don't you think?